Do lot of whys make you wise?

Peace in a break... OR Break into pieces?

2011-07-18T21:44:00.000+02:00

So how do you know if you have all that it takes to be a companion to someone? I mean not for someone in particular but in general. What if you realise that you are a misfit for the concept? Do you embrace the realisation or fight it?

What if you think you are a decent human being and have many friends to endorse it but no one really special to call your own? What if you are open to accepting people for who they are and let life take its course but others you meet in this context aren't? Will you still keep going single handedly to make it work or let it go on the premise that if it was meant to be, then it would have started kicking?
How long can you keep telling yourself that the its not time yet, and when the time comes you will indeed meet that one person meant for you? What if all this is a farce and there is no such thing as "one meant for you" ?

What if you find yourself toying with the idea of putting a stop to this companion quest and just let it be? Should this bring peace or scare you even more?

What if you think you have found the things you are looking for in principle like compassion, intelligence, being grounded yet fail to find that spark? Would you settle for that or would you not?
What if you find all that and the spark but the other person is not on the same page? Would you then try to make your point of why you think its worth exploring, or just let it go on the pretext that if the other person cant really see why it would be a great fit, is it really ever going to be great fit after all?

So I have moved countries - from Egypt to UK. And by the virtue of the fact that I am now here where there are loads of my fellow countrymen, the pressure of finding someone has started to take its toll on me. I guess I was better off in Egypt , at least I didn't expect anything on this front all this while that I was there - something like being in Civil Engg, when you see all other batch mates from other disciplines of Engg sweating it out for interviews etc but you are at peace knowing no company comes to your college for recruiting civil enggs

I think I need a break - but then again, how do you take a break from yourself?

Lets keep the faith alive!

2011-01-06T18:20:00.009+02:00

Bomb blasts in a Coptic church in Alexandria - A suicide bomber killed around 23 people and wounded dozens on the fist day of the new year with this bomb blast.

In the light of the above incident there have been many christian - muslim protests on the streets, creating religious tensions between the followers of these two religions in Egypt. Of course all people with a rational mind are condemning this act of terrorism (Christians , Muslims alike). However whenever something like this happens, the emotional tide runs high. And this time is no different. The whole of social media is full of links to religious philosophies (the good), the videos & news pieces about the atrocities on one religion stemming from some other religion and so on. I have heard from my Muslim friends here that some Christian friends of theirs are taking it too way too personally and are sending smses to the effect of "Dont call me ever again"

With this, the endless phenomena of debates on religious differences have surfaced again, sometimes in the form of a heated discussion and sometimes a calm & civil exchange of ideas - whatever be the case, it stays conclusion-less....... and all this only goes to strengthen my staunch belief in- One world, One religion "Humanity"

Recently a dear friend (Muslim but agnostic) was telling us how a fundamentalist muslim friend of his was asking him if he hates the Christian Cross and how my agnostic friend was a bit agitated by this question, was trying to make his fundamentalist friend see the point (made some very good points!). He wrote an article about the incident and shared the same before publishing the same on Facebook (to check if the volatility quotient of the religious content was too high or passable for a media as open as Facebook), with some of his friends from different religions / countries (I believe). There were some very interesting viewpoints in terms of both the content itself and the expression used to convey authors point of view. I wish I could publish the article and the comments by different people here, however I cant for obvious reasons (no permission from the authors of the comments / article).

So I thought of sharing what I can - My point of view.

Copied & pasted from the comment box on the article.

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Dear Friend,

I totally understand the feeling behind your retort. But you know maybe, just maybe we could just smile at the ignorance of these people who ask such questions.

My two cents....

I think "faith" should be a personal thing and should be treated like that. Dont get me wrong, no harm in opening a healthy intelligent conversation - but I feel it would be much easier if we just have some kind of a social rule about not questioning / scrutinising / opening debates on the topic of faith and just let people be.

Sometimes I wonder how people have no problems accepting & following the social rule of not asking / discussing/ commenting on subjects like income/finances (as an example - among many other such things) when talking to someone as its considered rude... however the very same people dont even bat an eyelid while giving unsolicited opinions on the other person's faith / religion.

What is so difficult to understand in the fact that "my faith" can be "what I want it to be", without having an iota of impact on "your faith" on "what you want it to be" - That, existence of differences is not always bad (Had that been the case, variety wouldnt have any positive connotation, now would it?)

In my opinion, GOD was created because the concept of goodness needed a form, a personification for people to easily relate to.So how does it matter if different people choose to manifest this personification in different ways... as long as it enables you to stick to the path of goodness (You could argue that goodness can be a relative term, but if you think about it, is it, is it really?)

All faiths ultimately boil down to having one guiding principle - some call it love, some call it sacrifice, some justice, some truth / knowledge, some tolerance ... and some call it something else. They are all meant to ultimately do the same thing , deliver the same message - guide you to a better living and to teach you to love yourself and everybody around you.

I guess we should just remind ourselves (whenever we tend to get carried away) that all faiths in some way or the other were created/ to cater to the following human needs
1.Create Hope for the good for people to go on in their weakest moments
2.Create Fear of the bad to ensure a harmonious co-existence between billions of people on this earth.

If you really look closely, the above mentioned (Optimism & Compassion) are the 2 fundamental principles of "Humanity" required fior a peaceful , chaos-less living. So does it really matter who you are - a Muslim, Christian , Hindu , Jew etc .. if you are following the principles of "Humanity" in the end , but just with a fancier / different name?

Sometimes i think that we people have just way too much free time on our hands to indulge in the childish "my-religion/faith- shinier- than-yours" debates.

P.S. - Since the last 3 years (since I moved to Egypt) , the number of times I have been asked this question about which religion i belong to.. is not funny! The funny part is that despite the fact that i am from a country which hosts almost all religions present in the world, this question is still new to me... or maybe its just the frequency of the question.
Not that we dont have religious differences/ propagandas in my country , still somehow i dont remember people asking me about my religion. Then again, maybe our names are perfect give aways of our religions... Any which way, I just wish people would stop asking me / anyone this question!!

NO!!

2010-12-26T21:22:00.007+02:00

Me to a female qualitative co-ordinator in my office - "When the consumers arrive for their indepth interviews, please inform Mr Ahmed" (my colleague who is supposed to conduct these interviews)

Qual Co-ordinator : "Mr Ahmed? No!"

Me : "Errrr.... ok..."

(Awkward silence)

Me : "Ahhhh u r kidding... ok ok"

(Qual co-ordinates straight face, no smiles. Me thinking - Good sense of humour, but a smile from her side wouldn't have hurt)

(Me back to my seat)

(Desk phone ringing)

Qual co-ordinator on the other line : "Gina, Mr. Ahmed - NO!"

Me : "Whats, whats wrong?...."

Qual Co-coridnator : "Gina I am telling Mr. Ahmed - NO!"

Me : "Ok just inform me and i shall inform him"

Qual co-ordinator : "we will send a mail to him"

Me : (thinking what the hell did Mr Ahmed do to this woman that she doesn't want to speak to him at all, and is expressing the same so vehemently in such an outright manner) "Dear, what seems to be the problem.I understand that you dont want to speak to him , so i am suggesting that you just tell me and i shall tell him. He might not be at his desk so he might not see the mail for some time"

Qual Co-ordinator - "Gina Mr. Ahmed NO... "K N O W"....."

.... yeah English is a tricky language!!

What will you do?

2009-12-02T16:42:00.001+02:00

As seen in London Tube....

There’s an NRI in 180 of world’s 183 countries...

2009-10-15T15:43:00.003+02:00

Kartikeya | TIMES NEWS NETWORK

This may well be the ultimate ode to the globe-trotting Indian who, for centuries, has been criss-crossing the world in search of opportunity and adventure: Indian citizens are today permanent residents of all but three countries in the world.

The ministry of overseas Indian affairs has registered the presence of non-resident Indians (NRIs) in 180 of the 183 countries of the world. The numbers may vary from just two in Lebanon to almost a million in the US but the fact is that Indians call the whole world their home. It is only in North Korea, Pakistan and Bhutan that not a single NRI is to be found.

NRIs are Indians, who like steel tycoon Laxmi Mittal, proudly hold on to their blue Indian passports while living in another country. They are also different from ordinary Indian citizens who obtain visas and go abroad to work or study for a limited period of time. NRIs remain citizens of India but enjoy the right to live and work permanently in another country of their choice. Indians can now be found in the remotest corners of the earth. Go to the Republic of Palau, a speck of an island in the Pacific Ocean which is one of the world’s youngest sovereign states, and you will find five NRIs there.

NRIs opening global windows of opportunity

Non-resident Indians are to be found here, there and everywhere. Don’t be surprised to find 20 of them living in the mountains of Bolivia or a 375-strong Indian community living in tiny Djibouti on the Horn of Africa.

Historically, Indian communities have had a major presence in several parts of the world. Be it Gujarati merchants who settled in East Africa, Tamil Chettinads who lived in South-East Asia or indentured labourers taken from Bihar to work on plantations in the West Indies, Indians have been migrating to other countries for centuries. During the two World Wars, they fought for the British army and settled down in the United Kingdom, the United States and Canada. The NRIs were a post-independence addition to this long list of migrants.

But it is also true that, historically, the NRI’s favoured destinations have been First World countries or the Middle East, where employment opportunities abound. But the latest data confirm that in a globalised world NRIs are making opportunities in literally every corner of earth.

The largest number of NRIs are in Saudi Arabia (17 lakh) followed by the United Arab Emirates (14 lakh) and the US (9 million) but what is more fascinating is they can also be found—albeit in minuscule numbers—in Slovenia (10), Montserrat (10), Iceland (21), Bosnia and Herzegovina (30) and Burkina Faso (150).

Experts also point out that, if people of Indian origin (PIOs)—a term for citizens of other countries who have an Indian ancestry—are included, then both Pakistan and Bhutan would also find it difficult to shake off the Indian links to their populations.

Passing time with Maslow

2009-09-10T10:43:00.003+02:00

Just so this blog doesnt die out of lack of attention, i thought of posting something... just about anything! (Thanks Jhayu for bringing this to my attention) Anway this is something that i found while aimlessly browsing through the internet one day... if nothing else, its a good time pass. So if you have nothing better to do, go knock yourself out with this test.

My results for Maslow Inventory Test

Physiological Needs	\|\|	10%
Safety Needs	\|\|\|\|\|\|	27%
Love Needs	\|\|\|\|\|\|	24%
Esteem Needs	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Self-Actualization	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Abraham Maslow authored the Hierarchy of Needs theory, stating that human beings are motivated by unsatisfied needs, and that certain lower needs have to be satisfied before higher needs can be attended to. It is debatable that needs fulfillment occurs in as linear a fashion as Maslow presents (or that Maslows needs structure is entirely accurate), but you can decide that for yourself. Also, higher needs tend to be more complex and vague in what qualifies as need satisfaction. The following results are listed in the order Maslow defined.

Physiological Needs : you appear to have everything you need to survive physically. Maslow speculates that without satisfying basic needs (food, shelter, health) one cannot achieve higher levels of development. This generally makes sense, but the history of starving artists and successful artists who tanked after they became wealthy is important to note.

Safety Needs: you appear to have a very safe environment. Maslow speculates that without enviromental stability (security, safety, consistency), you can't progress to higher levels of development. Neuroscience research would appear to support this, as higher stress contributes to higher cortisol levels, which impair memory and thinking functions. However, low stress can also lead to obesity and cardiac degeneration. The lazier and weaker you become, the more stressful the most minimal tasks and stimuli become.

Love Needs: you appear to be content with the quality of your social connections. Maslow speculates that discontentment in your connections with others stalls development. Whether the resolution of love needs comes through good relationships and/or learning to be more internally fulfilled is a question Maslow does not answer. But history would suggest many advanced minds had few relationships so this stage would seem to be more about resolving internal perceptions than as a call for measuring/achieving happiness by quality of external relationships.

Esteem Needs: you appear to have a high level of skill competence. Maslow speculates that until you develop a good skill set (talent, trade, expertise that you excel at) you will be unable to develop further as an individual (much less reliably support yourself financially). This could mean being a good musician, painter, doctor, carpenter, etc.. On some level this stage also requires getting over the need to be appreciated for that skill, internally and/or externally. Even if you develop a skill, you still might be hung up on the need to have other people validate you or you might internally doubt yourself. Then again, you might not be appreciated, or appreciate yourself because your skills are still too undeveloped.

Self-Actualization: you appear to have a high level of individual development. Maslow speculates that individual development is the pinnacle of existence, this means pursuing a career/life that really fits who you are and want to be internally (not based on external and societal expectations). The self actualized person is free from superficial concerns and is internally honest.

Take Free Maslow Inventory Test

Imagine that....

2009-08-09T13:29:00.008+03:00

Imagine that ...

An examiner mistakenly (or otherwise) marks a correct answer of yours as incorrect. You point that out after seeing your marked answer sheet however the examiner is not ready to acknowledge that hes wrong. You keep trying for a while ....get some bumps on the way, but keep fighting rising from all that because you believe in the power of truth & optimism.... but after a long drive of sustained & varied efforts, you decide to give up. And when you ultimately do give up, you are engulfed with the sense of defeat & acute helplessness. Yes thats how I feel at this very moment!

Imagine that....

One simple villager takes his two children to the village fare and somehow loses track of the children in the crowd. The older of the two children takes it upon himself to get himself & his little brother to find their way out. The older one does manage to find his way back to his father after a long tiring struggle of cutting through the crowd while protecting the crying child from the very same crowd. The father is happy to find his kids back with him and automatically turns his attention to the crying child.

The other child wants to scream "Dad hug me, I am scared too" however keeps silent. He is scared that his fathers attention will be diverted from the little child who needs it more. He is scared that he would see the same expression of pain that his father had on his face when he saw the younger child scared & in tears. Not knowing what to do other than just deal with his fear himself, he is still waiting for his father to tell him that its ok to be scared sometimes, that he is going to make everything alright, that he has his father standing there for him when he feels all alone. Yes i feel like that child at this moment!

Imagine that....

You are on a trekking trip with a lot of other people with you. You seem to have a better grip on that tough terrain than many of them. People automatically give their hands out for you to catch them when they start stumbling. You catch each one of that.. and keep moving. And then there is this hand that you really like. So you pay special attention to that. So after the first call of your name , even you are not being called for by the person whose hand you really like , you keep checking that he is doing ok on that terrain.

You see the hand coming you way very frequently then. You are just so happy to hold it that you miss out on the realisation that the person has stopped walking on his own. And when that very hand starts pushing you , you lose your balance out of shock the first time but manage to gain it back quickly, thinking that if you are off balance there is no chance that the person will ever gain the balance back. You get used to that pushing hand and still are happy to just hold it. Why? For one you just love that warm feeling that your hand gets when in that hand. Also, you keep believing that this hand is the strong hand you have always been looking for, the stong hand that will hold you when you stumble along the way. And then you realise that the pushing is becoming way too frequent, actually an inevitable part of this hand holding.

You put all your energies in trying to avoid falling down, losing the balance and holding the hand a little bit stronger than before. You see the hand slipping everytime after pushing you down, sometimes slowly, sometimes in a split second with a jerk. You are told that the hand breaking away from that warm grip is for your own good. You are told that this beacuse while the hand deeply realises its need to be in your hand, it just doesnt know how to stop the pushing. And there you are, after all this pushing, you still dont want to let go of the hand. You believe that this is indeed the hand which is going to support you when need be in future. So you find out the underlying reasons for this pushing down syndrome.. or at least try to.

You figure that the belief on the other side is that the terrain is getting tougher by the day, and so because of you. Yes the belief is that it is so because of the shoes that you are wearing. The belief is that it is so beacuse the shoes have sharp blades which makes it difficult for those close to you on this trek to keep moving smoothly, as once your shoes hit that ground, the terrain is ruined. You are amused at this finding but take it seriously as it is causing serious trouble for your balance hence your ability to provide support to others balance.

You decide to deal with it by simply showing whats underneath the shoes. But you are told that the blades exist even though you have tried hard to hide them. Your faith that you can prove your truth remains unfazed. You offer a thorough investigation of the shoe. The offer is taken but halfway through the process and not finding any sign of the blade, you are told that maybe its not the blades, its just the way you walk.

You try again...and again.. not ready to believe that truth doesnt always win. But then finally get just too tired to try again.Yes I feel that tired now!!

BTW - "Imagine that" the movie : not that great!

Awaiting rebirth...

2009-05-22T21:03:00.007+03:00

I want to cry... but my tear glands are way too tired.

I want to sing... but my vocal chords just resigned.

I want to run... but the signs on this crossroad are all messed up.

I want to scream ... but the voices in my head wouldnt shut up.

I want to smile... but someone harvested all my smiles crop.

I want to jump.... but i am stuck with my feet glued to the hilltop.

I want to drink... but the trip i am in, no drink seems good enough

I want to eat... but it just seems a little too tough.

I do want to live... but as of now i am just too dead to try that!

One PIE please ... with some extra "I"

2009-04-18T21:48:00.005+02:00

So some of us know what PIE stands for .... yes i am referring to the acronym for Physical, Intellectual, Emotional.

I used to believe that all conflicts/ confusions in a man-woman relationship could be easily explained by the fact that the order of heirarchy among these three needs is totally opposite in men & women. Let me explain. A man needs his PIE aspects to be taken care of in exactly that order - First Physical, then Intellectual and then Emotional. While for a woman, the order is exactly the reverse. For her it is Emotional first , followed by intellectual and then Physical. At least that was what i used to believe (with a few exceptions of course... for me the "I" has always surpassed "E" by zillions of miles..but we are not talkign about me here.)

Was just wondering if this theory still works? I am not sure anymore.

So is this the new-age world everybody keeps talking about?

I just hope it means that whatever is the order, its the same for both the sexes. But life isnt that simple, now is it??

I "Taboo" that!!

2009-02-08T14:42:00.018+02:00

This weekend was a game night at my house again and one of the games happened to be Taboo.

For the uninitiated, Taboo is just like Dumb Charades, the only difference being that unlike dumb charades here you can actually speak to describe the word that your team has to guess, but cant use specific obvious taboo words related to that word. For e.g. if the word is fish, while describing the word you can say anything that you want except for the words from this taboo list - water, animal, eat, sushi, seafood. I am sure you get the drift. Also, it works in one minute time slot for each turn. You get 1 point for each word that you get right during that one minute and minus 2 points if you don’t get the word, or you use any of the taboo words. So you see, speed is important…and so is caution of not using the taboo words. And sometimes in the quest to perfect these two (speed & caution), we get to see situations like the one mentioned below.

During one of my team turns, this one guy was trying to describe one word.

Him - “What I like”.

Me - “Pizza?”

He shook his head and said - "No"

Me – “Alcohol? Partying?”

Shook his head again

Me – “Women?”

Some more head shaking followed….

… and we couldn’t think of anything more to fit in that description. We gave up and got a minus two on that one.

After the turn finished , when he came and sat next to me I asked him –“Dude, what was the damn word?”

He responded, with a long face – “Potato”

And the following words came out of my mouth as if they were meant to be the most natural response –“Really? Potato?? Duhh… you should have said What you look like rather than what you like” (If you havent guessed it already... the guy is big. Tall and bulky.)

He gave me a nasty look and then, the sweet pal that he is, he gave me company along with others in laughing it out.

After a few rounds, another one of my team members went up to take on the turn. By this time the other team was winning by a wide margin (Really, it wasn’t very unexpected given our team had people with the aforementioned articulation skills!! Sigh…Even the great guessing powers of other team members like myself couldn’t save us!) . Anyway this time we got as much as 4 words right and were on the 5^th one (You see, usually in one minute time on an average, you can get 3-4 words right, 6-7 if you are good and about 9-10 if you & your team are incredibly great at it!) So crossing the average by getting onto the 5th one obviously translated into the excitement running high in the team. All of us had by now left our respective seats and in an attempt to stand close to the guy performing on the center stage, ended up standing very close to each other as well.

So the performer picked up this 5^th card, his eyes lit up and we reckoned it was going to be an easy one. He said, pointing in my direction – “What she looks like”…and I tried to decide (silently of course, in my head!) between konkana sen, madhu (yeah that forgotten actress), a school teacher (people label me that sometimes…though more for my rare but tough reprimanding acts than my looks)…and some more unmentionable resemblances that i am charged guilty of, by various people....

....yeah so while i was busy deciding which ones of these would embarrass me the least, all my team shouted in unison …. (take a guess….) – “POTATO!”

WTF!!!

At this point I would like to mention that all this(my mental calculations & my teams luck with deciphering the correct word) happened in less than a second! I am not exaggerating, I promise!!

Ha! So much for not being embarrased.... (in retrospect..only if i had said out loud any of the things that came to my mind, who knows i might have been able to steer the team away from thinking of a potato!)

At first, I thought the performer had pointed wrongly at me while he was just trying to point at that other guy standing right behind me and very close (who I spoke those words to, in the first place!) ... and just when i was about to give this whole thing, the benefit of doubt (we were standing close, rem?) ...it just hit me - he said “she” and not “he”.

WTF, really!!

Ok ok, I know I planted the idea of building an instantaneous association between “looks like” and “potato”…but the context was that guy NOT me, for crying out loud. Maybe all my team members have the selective hearing syndrome. But really, all of them yelling? In UNISON? As if it was the most obvious answer? No, scratch that. As if it was the ONLY answer??

DAMN!!!!

Moral of the story – Being a hostess of a fun night which includes alcohol, barbecue, a fantastic view from the balcony and a lot of games like Uno, Taboo, Playing cards and so on.. might add to a great fun quotient ….But in the end, doesn’t guarantee that the next time anyone says potato, you are NOT the first visual that appears in all those peoples head!!

Yeah, the world is a funny place …apparently so is my body shape. :P

Maybe next time when i am explaining the rules for playing taboo to all those present/particpating in the game, i should include "not pointing towards me when the word is potato" as the first rule!

Fucking Awesome!

2009-02-04T10:17:00.005+02:00

So this other day i was talking to one of my friends online

Me : Howdy?

Friend : Not bad

Me : Now thats not very enthusiastic!

Friend : Well...I could have said "I am fucking awesome"...but then i dont know any girl named "awesome", you see.

Playing Dumb... (Charades)

2009-01-18T15:33:00.002+02:00

So this last friday was a dumb charades night at my house … needless to say we enjoyed indian food, some ingenious mime for not only the difficult but also the simple movie titles….and many expected and unexpected laughs!!

The star among all those hilarious moments was when one of the guys got a 2 word movie name to enact.…. and to signify that hes enacting the 2^nd word first he decided to not to show two fingers but only the middle finger with the palm facing his face.After a split second of awkward silence at this action of his, all of us burst in uncontrollable laughter... and the laughter continued some more for he remained clueless till the end of it all :P

Kick Ass!!

2009-01-13T01:34:00.014+02:00

So someone told the guys in the office here that being kickass is the way to be these days... "Tabaan* (English translation - "Of course") it is!!" they said and...

This happened!!

Donkeys ordered to wear diapers in Egypt

Egypt News. Net : Tuesday 30th Dec, 2008(IANS)

Donkeys have been banned from walking around in the streets of Egypt's southwestern al- Wadi al-Gadeed governorates without wearing diapers, an official said.

Mohammed Haround said the measure was to 'preserve the aesthetic and cultural scene of the governorate which currently witnesses an unprecedented boom in tourism'.

'Diapers are available in the markets at low prices,' Haroun was quoted by the official MENA news agency as saying Tuesday. He added that owners of the donkeys who violate this decision will be fined.

Donkeys are vital for many Egyptians since they can easily carry 20-30 percent of their body weight and are helpful in farming. Donkeys and donkey-drawn carts are a common sight in Egypt's cities and countryside.

Source : egypt news

And this....

Donkey Sent To Jail In Egypt

A donkey has been sent to jail in the Nile Delta in Egypt for stealing corn!

The donkey and its owner were both arrested by police after the donkey was found in possession of corn on the cob stolen from a field belonging to the local Agricultural Research Institute.

A special checkpoint had been set up to trap the perpetrators after the Institute’s director complained that someone was stealing his crops.

Later, a local judge sentenced the donkey to 24 hours in prison, whilst the owner escaped a custodial sentence and received only a fine of $9.

Source : This

Should i go and tell them whoever told them this, didnt mean it literally?

50%... Huh?

2009-01-11T11:07:00.007+02:00

So i tried this (following it from another bloggers space, who by the way is quite entertaining) and see what i got!

Genderanalyzer for your blog : Results

We guess http://www.one-more-why.blogspot.com/ is written by a man (50%), however it's quite gender neutral.

Hoping for new beginnings

2009-01-08T03:33:00.004+02:00

The idea of doing something else work wise leaving the current line of work has been doin rounds in my mind (and more so in my heart) for sometime now...

I am tempted... cos i know i shouldnt kill this voice and take a new direction....

But the problem is...i dont know what direction is that.

And peace prevails.....

2009-01-07T04:05:00.014+02:00

Disclaimer - This is just in good humour NOTHING else ....so please read it in the same light

A recent mail forward (I am not too big on the whole fwd thing..yeah but then who really is? Anyway given the humour quotient of this one, i thought it deserved to be shared with all of you who havent had the chance of reading it yet :P )

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Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between India and Pakistan : This was the scenario.... ......... ...

The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.

Indian technology being so advanced, detects the Pak countdown in less than 8 seconds. Indian army decides to launch a missile in retribution. But they need permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely.The President asks for a quick decision.

In the mean time, the Pak missile fails to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a re-launch are still on.

Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.

The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government cannot take such a decision because elections are at hand. The Election Commission files Public Interest Litigation in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power.

The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.

Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully takes off, but it falls 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building in Islamabad at 11.00AM. Fortunately there are no casualties as no employee reaches the office that early. In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.

The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.

The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties agree. Its three months since the army had sought permission. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity" , "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos organized.

In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".

On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.

A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits it original destination: Russia.

Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launch a nuclear missile towards Islamabad. The missile hits the target and creates havoc.

Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.

Thus India never gets to launch the Missile....

Laughter : The best medicine

2009-01-05T13:43:00.008+02:00

After fighting this rare insomnia for a while but all in vain, i gave up and started reading random blogs...

Clicked on the sidebar link "problems in lauve?" cos it sounded phunny on a fellow bloggers blog (What drives you?)....It took me to rediff love guru chat sessions... couldnt resist sharing one gem that i found there in the comments section. It gets me rolling with laughter ...everytime! (esp the reply to this deadly predicament!)

Please help me...
by Mat on Nov 07, 2008 07:46 PM Permalink | Hide replies

Dear Luv guru...

I like one girl... But she likes a man 30 years elder to her. That man but loves his neighbour. That neighbour is married. That neighbour's sister-in-law crosses our house everyday. Now that sister-in-law's daughter in her first marriage is studying with me. Now I feel I am attracted to her also...

What should I do?

Forward | Report abuse

Re: Please help me...
by jat kr on Nov 07, 2008 07:58 PM Permalink
suicide !!!!

New Years Eve

2009-01-04T01:31:00.010+02:00

First things first - A very happy new year to all of you!

New year's eve for me was good...actually more than I could ask for.

Some random observations from the eve

1. I actually relished (and waited for the second serving!) the joke which they call samosas here (I mean really, their size could make a ram-laddoo feel proud for being so gigantic!) & spring roll look-alikes which seemed to have reluctantly left their dancing fields viz. the oil pan, still holding on to excessive oil.

2. I didnt mind the fact that even after charging us quite a decent amount of money, the organisers provided only the mixers for our tonics. Yes we had to bring our own alcohol.

3. I didnt lose my temper on the DJ who was so hyped to be an indian DJ (hence my expectations of all bollyqwood masala tracks!) insisted on playing english tracks more than the hindi ones. And he didnt even have any number that i requested. Ok, to be fair to him, i requested only one particular number Namak Ishq ka from Omkara ...and then i gave up hope (now if he didnt have that...THAT track... then could i really expect anything else?) Ok, to be honest...i went up to him more than once to strangle him and take charge but everytime my colleagues somehow managed to pull me back. And given his size i could have easily achieved that feat. Damn!~

4. I was somewhat surpised by the fact that i can still be on the dance floor for 5 hours straight!! yeay!! (and inspite of the above mentioned!) .....who knows, it could have been more, had they not politely hinted towards closing.. by serving food! (Really, who cares for food when you get to drink and dance??)

5. I realised that my dormant wish to learn salsa suddenly found wings on that dance floor.... (its still not fallen weak though its been more than 72 hrs since that dance floor... so i am hoping i will do something about it this time!)

6. I still dont take initiative in terms of social networking. No i am not anti social... i just dont have the drive to initiate it...thats all! So while i sat there enjoying my drink (for the first half an hour i.e. before the dance floor opened) some people came to my table, chatted ...and i reciprocated. While my newly married friend from office surfed through the entire gathering chatting up all of them one by one (i really think he covered everyone!) leaving his wife in my safe company. So I had to finally sit him down and wave this eye opener in front him. What, you ask? Well..think about it, he gets both the luxury of not sitting glued to the chair next to his wife and HAVE a wife...and i dont get either?? Now that cant be fair by any standard, right? I mean I didnt mind sitting next to her, shes a lovely person .... but the point is I dont get to take a wife home at the end of the party (Ok i am straight... but to be honest, sometimes i think i want a wife more than a husband! And i am sure it isnt so difficult to figure out why... he he!)

7. All in all, it turned out to be a good evening ..more than i had expected (Actually i had said yes to this idea only to see more than 10 indians in the same room... trust me, its a rare sight here!)

8. ...and last but not the least... i was happy to discover that i still dont believe in making any new year resolutions!!

So, your turn now...what did you guys do?

Why,you ask? Why not, i say....

2008-12-30T01:41:00.009+02:00

After reading the comments of my readers on the last post, I realized maybe I wasn’t clear in expressing what I am angry about. So taking one more shot at it ..especially for you "my friend" :)

But before I do, lets see if we have the facts right, shall we?

A rabbit .A mouse. A playground. Rabbit approaches mouse, extends its hand for a hand shake, mouse accepts. Walk together for quite some time. As natural progression would have it, the path they tread on, leads to a room. Mouse, hesitant at first, finally overcomes its apprehensions (basically stemming from the realization of the differences between itself and the rabbit) and enters the room with the rabbit along its side.

Next step in the natural progression? Closing the door of the room so they have each others full attention! Mouse checks with rabbit , rabbit oks that.

Seasons change. Onset of winter. So next step of progression? Turning the heat up in the room. After waiting for the rabbit to take the prerogative this time, mouse finally inquires about the rabbits stance on the same. Rabbit begins to choke. Mouse sees its discomfort and offers to let the rooms temperature as is.

But to deal with the choking, rabbit needs the closed doors to open. Mouse goes ahead and opens the door. Rabbit steps out and so does the mouse. Mouse offers to have the final hand shake. Rabbit refuses. Says its not the only way. Says they should move on parallel paths overlooking each other along their respective journeys. Mouse says no, tries to make a clean cut and begins the silence … only to feel guilty that this might not be fair to the rabbit, and finally gives in to the suggested way of the rabbit.

So they wave and pass a smile to each other, every now and then, from their parallel paths. So far so good.

The rabbit starts extending its hand to other creatures along its way. The playground insists on notifying the mouse by default…Yes the default mechanism which was devised originally by the playground to keep all these creatures updated about each other hence closer in some sense. So you see, it’s neither the mouse nor the rabbit! The rabbit isn’t bragging about this to the mouse and the mouse isn’t indirectly snooping around or directly asking the rabbit. The mouse has let go.

Nevertheless this gets the mouse thinking. And angry.

Why? For various reasons.

For one the rabbit had used its inability to withstand the heat in the room behind the closed doors as its salvation argument with the mouse. The mouse had given the rabbit the benefit of doubt, thinking that the rabbit really didn’t know what would the simple hand shake lead to when it started the journey; that the rabbit really had no way of being aware of this inability till the point of actually facing the heat. But NOW?? Now the rabbit knows.

And it is still extending its hand for new handshakes… knowing fully well that this would lead to ..the same natural progression..the room, the closed door and eventually the high mercury levels.

So what does this mean? Lets see...

a. If the rabbit is ok with that natural progression, then this implies that this was NEVER a problem. This only means that the rabbit lied and used this as his defense because it knew that this would pass as believable. The mouse is angry because it doesn’t want to believe that the rabbit was a liar. Its angry because the facts are forcing it to believe so.

b. Now lets say that the rabbit wasn’t lying and truly couldn’t withstand the heat. Think about it… given the fact that its trying to start new journeys being fully aware of its own limitations from a first hand experience……really, what kind of a character does this make the rabbit here? – One which knows that it is starting something which it cant complete, one which leaves the journey mate high and dry halfway through? The mouse knows no other way to see it as but lack of compassion. And the mouse is angry …. Angry because compassion was one of the prime defining traits for the rabbit it knew, it was one of the reasons the mouse agreed to walk together with the rabbit and eventually entered the room. The mouse is angry because it doesn’t want to believe this either while the facts insist on continuing their dirty dancing

c. Now lets say that the rabbit was neither lying then nor doing anything wrong now because its inability was genuine then and now it has finally overcome it somehow. But really, is that possible? Isnt it easier to motivate yourself for conquering your inabilities when you have the reward right in front of your eyes? In the context of the rabbit, why now? Why not when it was in the room with the mouse? The mouse is angry because it doesn’t have answers to these whys.

Now lets sweep this whole intolerance towards heat issue aside to a corner for a while and assume that the second argument, the final stroke to gain an exit pass from the room, the mouse being a mouse and not a rabbit was really the whole deal breaker for the rabbit. Now the mouse had made its peace with the fact that the rabbit probably truly cant cohabit with a non rabbit which happens to be a mouse in this case……inspite of the fact…. that the mouse to this date fails to comprehend why the rabbit didn’t think of this earlier, while extending its hand, while walking together, and more importantly while entering the room? No the mouse is not angry about all that now. So then whats it angry about now, you ask?

Well those creatures that the rabbit is extending its hand towards now are non rabbits too. And the fact that they are different isn’t holding the rabbit back from proactively seeking an association with them.

a. So again, this makes the mouse wonder if this (being a non rabbit) EVER was a problem or was just cited to facilitate an easy exit, when the above argument (inability to tolerate heat) didn’t work? If this is the case the mouse is angry to have been lied to… again…
b. The other possibility is that this IS infact a criterion and the rabbit was not lying in the first place. (Whatever said in b above can be easily quoted here as well) … Aware of limitations yet raising false hopes in other creatures only to enjoy some gametime & fun with them? The mouse is angry because it has to press the buzzer for “shamelss lack of compassion”... again!
c. The third possibility – Again on similar lines of c above… lets say “you- a-non-rabbit” was a genuine concern so no lying on the part of the rabbit then, and somehow it has ceased to be a concern, so no lack of compassion in trying to reach out to non rabbits now. Again the anger for the mouse stems from the timing of the rabbit to decide this. Why now? Why not when it was with the mouse (assuming that the rabbit has really erased this criterion)

And ... the mouse is angry because it doesn’t want to choose between the possibility of the rabbit being a liar or a compassionless dead soul.

Yes the mouse believes in accepting the creatures it calls its friends as they are, with their strengths and flaws alike. But there are some things which cant cross the line at any cost. Coincidentally, both honesty & compassion belong to that list of things.

When the mouse decided to break its silence and agreed to appear once again in the visibility range of the rabbit , the prime reason behind it all, was the belief in goodness. The belief that no creature can deliberately harm someone’s else interest … …and if the interests do somehow get harmed in the journey, it only happens without design, without the other really meaning to do so. So the mouse thought that shutting the rabbit out, completely, probably wasn’t fair...more so when the rabbit had made it explicitly clear that it didnt wish to be shut out.The mouse didn’t wish to think about its own self only so it gave in to the rabbits wish of letting the bridges be!

The mouse is angry because this whole thing shakes its basic philosophy of faith on which the mouse thrived on till now…

Maybe all of this is just a classic case of paralysis by analysis…. The mouse is angry because it has lost all its ability to see things clearly!!

P.S.- This is, in no way, an effort towards negating the other good qualities that define the rabbit. This is solely an expression of the anger felt by the mouse on its own perception of presence of certain other qualities viz Honesty & Compassion.

I am angry... and want to hold on that feeling for a while!

2008-12-28T11:39:00.013+02:00

You think you have made your peace with something and then boom , it comes back later to bite you in the ass when you are not looking. Ok maybe not all of a sudden , maybe its triggered by some external stimulus rather than your internal think-machine. But the point is it comes back.

I am angry… and disappointed.

And more pissed off for the fact that I cant remain angry for long. So when I found myself angry, what did I do? I called the person I was angry with to hear the voice, to try and feel his sense of obliviousness in this context and be able to give him the benefit of doubt.

Yes call me crazy because I have weird mechanisms of dealing with things. But really… at the end of the day doesnt it come down to deciding for your own self what’s more important for you –

- Not letting the other person see the huge impact that the situation had on you and appear all strong/not vulnerable.. either shutting that person out or behaving in a nothing-has-changed manner with that person OR
- Not caring about the above. Instead facing the situation head on - but at the same time trying to remind yourself of the good things about the association with that person, in the hope that it would help you see things clearly... in the perspective of balance!

So I go with the latter most of the times and it usually works. But this time, even after doing so, I don’t want to let this anger go. I am scared of the fact that this anger would evaporate all too soon and I would find myself getting bothered by a similar situation. So I want to feel this anger for so long that I don’t feel anything else.

Doesn’t make sense? Well remember the mouse and rabbit story?

The update - The mouse is out and trying to figure where to go next, exhausted at the mere thought of finding another room to be comfortable, tempted by the thought of never entering a room again. While the rabbit is jumping on the same road again, just like before, but this time making sure to touch more creatures on its way, and touch them closely. So why should the mouse be bothered? Yes it shouldn’t be …but for the fact… that it still doesn’t believe that the rabbit’s original intention was to cohabit the room for only some time and to get out on the road eventually, still cant digest the fact that the rabbit would still be treading the same path… all over again! In the exact same way with other creatures on its way!

You see this takes away the benefit of doubt that the mouse gave rabbit to salvage itself. The benefit of doubt being that the rabbit didn’t know that it couldn’t stand the heat of that room till it stayed in the room for a while.

But now?? Now the rabbit knows!

So why is it still looking, and pro actively so for partners to start a journey on the road which leads only to one place – that damned room?? Or maybe the foolish mouse doesn’t understand that problem was not the heat in the room in the first place but difference in their colour.

If that was it, then why did the rabbit wait for so long to say this? And doesnt it know that the possibility of finding his own species is next to nothing in this path full of all kinds of species? So is it ok with walking along with a non rabbit? So when it blew the mouse off, was that a specific aversion to mice in general?

What about the other unsuspecting creatures which the rabbit is going to disillusion? Why should be the mouse be worried about those creatures in the first place? Why does the mouse still wonder if the rabbit knows that all creatures would ask for adjusting the thermostat after a while and the rabbit being rabbit would run away..again?

It is difficult to believe that the rabbit is so naive not to know... and if it does, then this doesnt make it a good being! (Unless of course, the rabbit feels that some creature would make it want to take that fur off to be ok with the extra heat in the room!). But no, this time the mouse doesnt want to use the benefit-of-doubt theory. So it has decided to house this anger for a while. And also stop looking at the direction where the rabbit jumps... forever!

The upside?? (Well why an upside??...cos i create such a hype about the sense-of- balance everytime!! So its only fair to expect an upside to this as well) - Maybe all these whys will end up making me wise...somehow!

Giving in...

2008-12-25T13:07:00.011+02:00

For the lack of anything better (I mean what do you expect? On the Christmas morning, when all the world is either sleeping or rejoicing in the festivities, I am here in office with a handful of others pretending to work but with no actual work on hand, overlooking grey clouds in the sky with an utmost certainitythat it is NOT going to rain for the simple reason that it NEVER rains here inspite of my constant prayers!)... i am going to put a tag (picked up from a fellow blogger's land) here and see if all this hype about tags really holds any worth...

The way its supposed to go is that you get a chance to express ur true feelings :P by answering these questions honestly...

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. Something I have and you want?
4. Give me a nick name and explain why you picked it?
5. Describe me in one word?
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could ever give me one thing, what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. How do you see me in future?
12. Ever wanted to tell me anything, but couldn't?
13. Are you going to put this on your blog and going to see what I say about you?

Go ahead put up the same tag in your blog, I promise i wouldnt accuse you of plagiarism :P

Trying to paint the canvas white...And I just might!

2008-12-23T01:42:00.013+02:00

Yellow lights, green lights .... all saying the world is bright
And I run towards the sign which says “Its all black and white”

I run and see …and see and run, where to I don’t know
Wasn’t I supposed to have a guide in this damn show?

I thought I found you but I only saw, not bothering to open my eyes
So tell me who should I really blame for being blessed with this vice.

I am not into worship so don’t bother asking me to pray
But I might just let go, so yes you will have to ask me to stay…

No hugging is bugging me!!

2008-12-18T13:41:00.007+02:00

Isnt it sad when you realise you have no one to hug?? Even when are you are feeling low ...or not feeling well physically?

I think its been one whole month (or more) since i have had any human contact in these terms. And this realisation doesnt make me feel any better.... or maybe when you are sick, you tend to make these sad discoveries.

I mean, really .... isnt this some kind of an indication that you are spending this precious part of your life without acually enjoying the true rewards that it has to offer! Or does this just mean that you are in a wrong place, at a wrong time?

I dont know...

...What i do know is that i need someone to hug, as of now...

.... but i have no one, as of now!

Mourning a death! - By being ALIVE

2008-12-11T14:32:00.011+02:00

“Its getting cold in here” - the mouse says looking at the thermostat.
“I know , but lets talk about something else for the time being. I don’t want to think about cold” – the rabbit responds.
“Ok.. what do u want to talk about?”
“Anything.”
So they talk about anything.

A wave of cold hits the mouse again after a while.
“Really, you are ok with this temperature? I feel we should adjust the thermostat”
“Yes I am ok… you see my fur? I am afraid I will be uncomfortably hot if you increased the temperature” - the rabits says after a long pause , after realising that the question isnt rhetorical and the mouse is indeed expecting a reply.
“So you are saying you can’t take out the fur, at all? Never? So you never feel so hot to want to take off the fur?” - says the surprised mouse.
“Ok all this talk has made the room much hotter than before. I can’t breathe”
“Maybe we should open up a window for fresh air?" - says the mouse, genuinely concerned now for the rabbit not thinking of the cold wind that would come in from the window.
“Sure, great idea! Here, I opened it” - says the rabbit , now standing in front of the window and breathing normally again.
“Ok with this window open, i dont think this automatic tuning of thermostat is enough. Really wouldnt a little more warmth be better? Can we adjust the thermostat please. And winter is approaching too…” - slowly speaks the mouse after not being able to withstand the very cold room now...which has been getting colder ever since opening of the window.
“I don’t know what to say. I already told you about my fur. Remember I have fur? And if you are cold …maybe you should change the room”

“But... but I like it here. I don’t know if its perfect but I am comfortable here. Yeah sure I feel the roof will leak sometime, the chairs will break… but I know the colour of the walls, I know the print of the bedspread.
Ok tell you what, lets not touch the thermostat.. Lets keep it at what it is, a little above room temperature for that warmth that we both feel ok with” - sighs the mouse
“Well… now that you mention it I think I need to turn the heat down actually. I need to open the door as well. I am having difficulty breathing again. Maybe we should go out of the room back to the path we came from. We eventually would have to move out of the room , right? Now is a good time to do that" - suggests the rabbit, trying to provide a clear direction to the predicament that it thinks the mouse is expecting to be resolved.
“And whys that?” - utters the confused mouse , thinking about how the rabbit wanted to enjoy both warmth of the room and the cold from the open window , wondering if the idea of eventually closing the window of the room could have transpired this thought of opening the door as well, or quitting the room altogether.
“Because … You are a mouse. I am a rabbit”
“But I was always a mouse! Even when you found me and stopped me in my way to walk together, even when we entered this room!” - says the shocked and exasperated mouse
“Because …because... err you are brown, I am white. You fit in a hole, i dont”

The mouse closes its eyes. Closes its ears. Shuts off everything.
The rabbit decides to wait till this passes.

And now the thermostat is broken. Beyond repair. The doors are open. The rabbit is out but is still peeping in through the window.

The mouse has taken a leap...not in the direction it was hoping for.....jumping out of the cosy cushion on that not so perfect chair (that it loved, inspite of the chair missing back support), earlier than it expected but confused....confused for the smell of death hovers around its head, yet it doesnt feel dead.....and so scurries out of the room.

The room now is empty.
The same room which the rabbit and the mouse had stumbled upon without realization after months of travelling together on the path of playful leaps, boring naps, stimulating jumps...and had liked so much that they even stopped looking out of the window.

You see when they started walking together, the rabbit didn’t know the path travelled together led to this room and the mouse didn’t know it ended there.

My T-shirt reads...

2008-12-01T23:31:00.003+02:00

Dont chase me....

....... if you are not ready to catch me!!

Men are from Mars : Women from Venus

2008-11-28T13:38:00.009+02:00

A boy .
A girl .
Beginning the act of intimacy for the first time after knowing each for quite some time.

Girl (thinking to herself) - "So glad that i feel attracted to him physically as well!"

Boy (thinking at the same time) - "Its a bonus that shes not a bimbo!"

.......

2008-11-26T11:58:00.004+02:00

My head is so messed up right now.... i had to find something to do... so here i am making a list of some totally random things about myself

- I cant sleep with the cupboards open. Just cant (and no its not because i think of being chased by ghosts coming out from there!)

- I still havent given up biting my nails ... never focussed on how ugly my hands look because of this but i insist on keeping my feet pedicured at all times.

- I cant concentrate on my work in office if the internet is not working, when i cant access any mail but the official one even though i dont usually look at these webpages once i open them. But they just have to be there up and running, for me to focus on work!

- Although i am not a cleanliness freak but i absolutely hate clutter... in the house , at my office desk and most importantly in my brain.

- When pain comes , i dont try to use distractions to avoid looking at it. I embrace it...whole heartedly, to be able to say good bye.

Is togetherness an illusion?

2008-11-20T00:11:00.004+02:00

Give me a life remote with a fast forward button!

2008-11-16T17:34:00.004+02:00

What do you do if you feel like crying and you have no shoulder to lean on...

I am back from India and it feels like an exile :(
Hope it gets better with time.

The letter!

2008-11-11T23:42:00.008+02:00

A letter ...written in a beautiful hand... blue/black ink....4 pages...
First page and some for my mother.. in english
Next page and some for me... in english
The rest... for my two sisters... in hindi...

Written by... my dad...
Makes me feel... teary eyed emotional, the intense happy-sad kinds!
Content... cant recall

Tells me... yet to figure that out...

Saw it in.... last nights dream

An online test just told me....

2008-11-11T23:01:00.003+02:00

Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Practical - You are a down-to-earth individual who is not impressed with material excess. You care about the stuff of like that really matters.

Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal
2. Big-Hearted
3. Practical
4. Romantic
5. Wealthy/Ambitious
6. Sensual
7. Intellectual
8. Adventurous
9. Athletic
10. Stylish

Your date match profile:

Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Intellectual - You seek out intelligence. Idle chit-chat is not what you are after. You prefer your date who can stimulate your mind.
Romantic - You need someone with a traditional understanding of romance. A true romantic is a must-have in any potential date.

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Practical
2. Intellectual
3. Romantic
4. Conservative
5. Athletic
6. Big-Hearted
7. Outgoing
8. Sensual
9. Funny
10. Adventurous

Take the Dating Profile Quiz at Would I Date You

So any practical, intellectual, romantic man reading this???? :D

Amusement Calling # 6.12.9.16 + 6 - the final chapter.

2008-11-11T07:54:00.014+02:00

Continued from the last post....

(For the first chapter - click here)

Him - u are not being honest...Me - i am being honest ....see i have proof . And then I pasted the old conversation from the archives – (ME: so u r saying i have convoluted methods of talking? HIM: i have better conversation with office janitor... and i dont wanna talk any further ME: too bad for u then HIM: gud luck for life ME: sure like i said ur life ur choice)

Him - yep we fought like that…i am a rude man ...Me - better converstaion with an office janitor?
Him - i told u in the beginning...well in hindsight...i had lost my cool...one of those days when u are weak...and immature..etc etc..anyways...u may go thru the converstaions couple of times...more and lemme know if u wud want to talk further....Me - lol- i dont believe in the past…i believe in NOW
Him - u dont?Me – no…at least i try to…thats why i said lets start afresh
Him - okie...u sure? that fragment may not be the rudest i talked...Me - i know
Him - hmmm'- okie...Me - and it was july not april- abt the 6 drinks
Him - am glad that u let that go...Me - and it was indeed YOU who i exchanged texts with
Him - ohh cmmon...Me - i was right
Him - now u wanna go thru the whole history books again...pls do so...lemme know when the tomes are over...Me - .... hey u asked to look it up….and i was so embarrassed for not remembering you
Him - hmmmMe - but actually i did
Him - my honesty and truthfulness killed me...Me - its ok to be honest ^ truthful….but u have got to be compassionate enuff to consider the feelings of other people
Him - yep...i understand that...Me - so as long as u promise not to be rude just cos u need to be truthful.... i am ok
Him - hmmmMe - i got the pictures in gmail
Him – hmmm…reduce 5-10 kilos ...Me - u reduced?
Him – yes …but am still fat...Me - thts nice
Him - ? whts nice?Me - losing weight...to be healthier is nice
Him – hmmm..it has become a social necessity these days...Me - social necessity?
Him - being fat is increasingly becoming unacceptable...fat are getting discriminated against...don’t u think so...Me - i dont know
Him - wht people dont understand is that some people may not have the genetic make up to have a high metabolic rate,.,,Me – right…i can empathise
Him - i had got myself checked...i had a slow metabolic rate...tendency to accumulate fat from simple sugars...and combined with non veg diet i am not able to go down from 97 now...Me - how tall are u
Him - 6 feet…181 cms excatly...6 feet is 183Me – alright…..anyway i guess i have the same problem of low metabolism rate….and i am not even a foodie
Him - all fat people have that...none of their fault...Me - no some people just eat too much
Him - yet they are slim...a man doesnt become fat due to overeating alone...anyways...this is now getting too boring a conversation..Me - hey its 2 am... do u want to go sleep? or can u talk?
Him - nope not yet....if u want me to go...i will...Me - i dont
Him - okie ...Me - but if u r sleepy i wud understand
Him - am not...Me - alright then….juts one last thing from the past - it was YOU who asked me that question abt what i was wearing the other day
Him – YES ….IT WAS ME>>>Me - so why did u lie
Him - will u now hang me for it...coz u hanged me last time...Me - maybe i shud
Him - okie....good bye then....sorry for wasting ur time....Me - arrey...r u kidding me?
Him - ? u only said u wud "hang" me again...i knew that day that those words did a disaster.,..Me - so u only joke ...but cant handle one urself? nice....
Him - i went overboard...Me - yes u did...but like i said...past!
Him - cant say over a chat interface the true emotions...okie past….where r u lost now?Me - well thinking of how to take the conversation further….help
Him - ? u were in the lead?Me - yes
Him - or may be lets leave it here and come back 200-300 days later? we would be saner...and would have more clues how to take it further?Me - u sure u want to do that?
Him - i dunno abt you...Me - HEY enuff with this 300/365 days talk....i am trying here
Him - if i wanted that.i wudnt have returned…..trying what?Me - to talk to you without losing my cool over the past.... now u sure u want to keep referring to 200-300-365 days?
Him - i wont...Me - thank you….now tell me why did u keep lying abt these things?
Him - abt wht?Me - u said no sister , no brother, no west delhi. I pasted the earlier conversation where he had mentioned all these details about him

Him - ohh cmmon...those were early days...on the net no one divulges true info...Me - so u lied then?
Him - i think i shud leave for the day at this point so that u cud go thru each line each paragraph....am a liar...Me - but why?...see i was right abt the career thing also . I was referring to an earlier conversation which I thought I had with him . But he made me believe otherwise when I asked him .Flip: do u have a concrete career map? Me: no Flip: any reasons for adhesion to delhi? r u not a career woman? ur no disappointed me
Him - Aristotle said “Whys” are the most difficult questions...wht he cudnt answer i wont attempt either...Me - i did remember you , u made me believe u were not that person
Him - by the way who is this [his name]? – He was referring to the name mentioned in the archives that I copy pasted above
Me - and i felt really bad that i dont rem you…this IS you..[his company name]... 6 feet , 95 kgs , project manager
Him - he seems to be an idiot...this is not me...Me - so u have changed
Him - u tell me...have i?Me - not much
Him - okie...Me - but earlier i didn’t know u lied.. and YOU talk of honesty?
Him – hmmm…this is the final nail in the coffin then..u want to ridicule me?Me - u know what....i am still going to talk to you because you need someone to tell you what I am about to say now.
Him - okie...so u looking for more nails?Me - yes people who lie don’t get to talk to honesty , and hide under its pretext when they are rude.... i tell the truth too , remember?....i am sure u are man enuff to handle this……….
Him - huhMe - Ok tell you what . i am saying if u tell me that u r not going to lie then I might continue talking to you.
Him - who said men feel no pain? well i dont think we can indulge in any healthy conversation anymore... its like titanic...no life boats...hull broke from the middle...am asking myself why i started talking again...Me - u scared? running away? so what was it that u were expecting anyway? that i wudnt rem anything ? or i wud just be fine with it.... yes i wud like to know the ans to that question too
Him - coz past is what is making kashmir problem complex...I was hoping against hope...but it is now hopeless...anyways....merry time...in egypt...take care...bye...Me - cos i discovered that u lie?
Him - yeah...Me - this is great....and funny
Him - foundations have become weak…nothing survives on weak foundations...Me - :)) u crack me up.........really…good bye
P.S. I wanted to name this series as Flip sequel originally but then i decided to go ahead with the number equivalents(numeric position in the English alphabet) for the word FLIP :)

Amusement Calling # 6.12.9.16 + 5

2008-09-25T20:49:00.002+02:00

Contd... from the same day, same conversation

Him - okie...u wanna lead the converstaion?
Me - no I want to be led
Him - nope...am too sleepy for it today...I can only respond...
Me – alright so tell me how come you didnt meet anyone interesting in these last 3 years?
Him - I find u sensible...walking on mother earth...talented intelligent...everything a sensible man may be looking for- btw u sure u wont kick my ass...after getting all the answers
Me - no u get to be excused on the pretext of being sleepy...just dont piss me off tooooooooooo much ...okay?
Him - okay....
Me - thank you
Him - sleepiness isnt the pretext btw
Me - then what is? (I mean the pretext)
Him - 'hmmm there is none...
Me - alright as long as u have promised to be nice
Him - u made me aware I got to see wht I type that's it…will be adhered
Me - thanks... alright so remember the thing ..... meeting someone = diminshing the value? so by that logic u shud never meet someone u r infatuated with …right? but that doesnt make any sense
Him - well...it depends ...sometimes...a man in flesh might become a God incarnate…guru nanak, sai baba are real examples...if my mental image of u maps onto ur real image
Me - why do u keep bringing god in the talks of infatuation here?
Him - its no less than a penance…I have done it 3 years...
Me - u understand that its a faith much more deep rooted than a mere infatuation
Him - anyways...I might be sounding too platonic.,.,..okie call it deep rooted infatuation... infatuation may not be the right word...
Me - platonic?????????/ no way ….u said u have seen my pic …have I seen you?
Him - yeah u have my pics...
Me - no I dont
Him - sent u way back in 06, 07
Me - why cant u share them again?
Him - wont
Me - y?
Him - am a ghost...camera flash passes thru me...cant take real pictures now...
Me - alright if you dont want to share ur pictures , then that’s what it is……. no issues
Him - look up ur archives...I will share again after am comfy
Me - I told you I dont think I have archives unless they are there by default.. but u dont listen….anyway I am not going to make all that effort of looking it up even if its there…
Him - u deleted them...
Me - so changing the topic…who is your favourite female actor in bollywood?

Him - no faves…they are walking collection of cosmetics

Me - fav food? (or did you mean no favs in anything?)
Him - non-veg- tandoori, kebab variety...sea food...
Me - watch tv?
Him - not much...
Me - books?
Him - dont get much time...yes read a lot on politics and medieval romance.,.,..economics as well...
Me - non fiction , all?
Him - am a fierce debator...non fiction all...fiction is all cooked up...I cant live in that kinda world
Me – hmmmm music?
Him - not much...
Me - dancing?
Him - not much...
Me - alcohol?
Him - a traveler, foodie and wine lover…like alcohol...yes...
Me - okie... do u smoke?
Him - nope no smoke...hate it...am fat....smoking will kill me sooner
Me - well u do know that I smoke , don’t you....juts making things clearer
Him - i know u do...that’s ur choice...
Me - alright.... what do u feel abt kids?
Him - am sure u eat a lot of mints…kids...are a menace...
Me - i hate mints
Him - i dont know how would i treat mine...ooh man...u wud be having bad breath then...cigarette smoke...
Me - so u saying that u dont like kids but u want to have them anyway
Him - dunno...i am not the one who can produce babies...
Me - but u understand that u play a part???? anyway i am asking you do you WANT to have kids?
Him – hmmm…havent thought abt it yet...am too young.,..to be a dad...will think at 40
Me - then u shud marry a girl at least 10 yrs younger to you
Him - nah...farah khan 42 old just delivered triplets…medical technology is more advanced than your laptop is...am not sure btw if a gal 10 years younger would marry me...anyways...- u going overboard,....u have asked these questions 3rd time now...
Me - hey its my lead
Him - u amnesiac
Me - u want to do it ur way… u take the lead
Him - okie...go ahead...i have no questions;...
Me - whys that..u know everything abt me?
Him - i think so..i remember wht u told me...
Me - whats my fav colour?
Him - dont remember food...don’t remember...u love mountains...i think u said that...u like to travel...
Me - i never said I like mountains…and by the way , i rem now
Him - aha okie....
Me - i once suggested that we meet…u said u cudnt (Again I was just shooting in the dark in the hope that the subsequent talk triggered by this statement of mine would shed some light on his identity)
Him - yes u did...
Me - remember
Him - i cudnt that day..,.i proposed another day and u said no...u had to visit someone...
Me - so i must have had to visit someone then
Him - then subsequent weeks sometime ur sis had come down from hyd….and another time it was your mom..yeah u had to visit someone in dwarka or gurgaoin...dont exactly rem where...
Me - hmmmm.... u know ...i have to be honest...i didn’t rem anything....i juts checked gmail archives and see what I found…. (Well this time I did go to the archives and checked out for the transcripts with someone of this name and I did find something…. And I was so surprised at myself – how could I have forgotten HIM? Maybe I do have a fantastic mechanism of erasing things / people, that I don’t like, so completely out of my mind)

.....to be contd....

Amusement calling # 6.12.9.16 + 4

2008-09-25T19:37:00.003+02:00

After a while , when he came back after having dinner

Him - there?
Me - hi
Him - yes maam
Me - hey
Him - had food?u r prob 3 and half hours behind
Me - now 2 and 1/2 only in summers….so what did u have?
Him - okie...rice, chicken..curd...pickles...
Me - nice
Him - and u? kebabs?
Me - well ... I didn’t have anything till now
Him - okie... - 1030 there now...
Me - fell asleep on the couch... woke up 5 min before ur message…yup its 1030
Him – hmmm….its lousy living alone….u r bored to hell...and damn lonely...only walls and TV to talk to...isn’t it?
Me - well its not that bad
Him - hmmm
Me - I mean its great to have someone as company in the house however its not so bad being alone too
Him - okie...I think there is nothing like a wonderful company
Me - sure ...
Him - someone to scratch ur back while he scratches urs. I talk a bit rude and use a lot of crap words like b4 I haven’t changed...so when u are alone u got only ur scalp or ass to scratch…so happy scratching
Me - really being funny is soooooooooo over rated
Him - ? is that a sarcastic comment?
Me - the effort of being funny…yes ... I dont appreciate such humour ....even with disclaimers
Him - does it take a lot of effort? who asked u to appreciate...does a bird ask anything before the droppings
Me - ok ...u dont take hints (even when they are not so subtle).... I mean don’t do it again please…are u saying u r a shit dropping bird?
Him - I am not a bottle who can be corked...I become that way sometimes...I shoot from the hip...without much thinking...
Me - without thinking is fine.... however u have got to be within the comfort range
Him - u have really forgotten me...and am using the same id!
Me - this name does remind me of someone
Him - okie cancel the window and ignore my id if that happens again :))
Me - but u said u dont live in [specific part of delhi] (Ok I am I have decided its too much effort to mask my identity but you see, cant be so casual about his identity , so still masking his details)
Him - I will ping again in 365 days......huh….I never have lived in my life in [that part of delhi]….but in [somewhere else]

Me - well .... wasnt it u who asked me once what i was wearing while i was in the office and the discussion turned into an angry debate (I was trying hard to remember and it seemed like I had placed him for a while )
Him - ? i dont remember
Me - maybe i am confused
Him - but i dont see anything wrong in the question…the man who might have asked this...might want to know if u r in western or indian attire….if anyone wants to imagine garbage...
Me - there!!! it is YOU (I thought I vaguely remembered who it was…but then I wasn’t so sure)
Him - he wouldnt ask abt clothes...he would rather not ask anything at all nope i dont think i ever asked this question...
Me - anyway ...doesnt matter
Him - so i neither confirm nor deny...
Me - all i am saying is ... with a girl/lady u have got to be a little polite and leave the crappy words out of the conversation….till u r sure she doesnt mind it
Him – hmmm well...sometimes it takes too long to know if u cud be sure...
Me - well in no case shud this be overlooked….anyways...at 1 am...its too late to enter into a debate...what time do u sleep?
Him - before 2 am...
Me - ok
Him - i think i shud sleep now...
Me - so before 2 is actually 1J
Him - in no way i shud give you reasons to think i am awake to talk to u…exactly....
Me - and whats wrong with that?
Him - gud nite...wrong with what?
Me - even if I think u r awake to talk to me ...whats wrong with that
Him – hmmm it isnt...
Me - then?
Him - matter of factly it is partly true... am indeed....infatuated with u...for last 2-3 years...
Me - really? have u seen me?
Him - ur pics yes...
Me - I think we have talked on phone
Him - yes we have
Me - how can u be infatuated with someone whom u have never met?
Him - how can people worship someone who they havent seen?
Me - hey thats deep rooted faith, inherited by society , parents etc etc…who told u to get infatuated with me…not that I am not flattered lol
Him - call that my craziness then...
Me – hmmm so u want to talk or go to sleep?
Him - will do as u say
Me - lets talk then

To be contd.........

Amusement Calling # 6.12.9.16 + 3

2008-09-08T18:21:00.009+02:00

Continued from the last post...
******************************************************************************************
Me - vodka shots????
Him - u only told me last year...and I told u to take only 2 or 3 but u said u take usually more than 5
Me - that cant be true...I only went above 5 this one time ...and I rem now exchanging some texts with this guy who had a sister and lived in [specific part of delhi]..so If u r not that guy (and u just said u aren’t)....then no I have never told u that I drink more than 5 in one go
Him - hey cmmon....u told me that...
Me - not possible…I dont lie
Him - u had 6 shots that nite and next day u were at your sister's place….and ur mom had come down from hometown...and u refused to chat much for 12th straight day...thats when I said I wud be back- that was last year in april...anyway....as a fellow amnesic I can understand that...
Me - ok I am trying hard to rem........ but nothing…. Not a thing…….. Doesnt ring a bell, at all!
Him - ?
Me - and for all its worth... I was going thru a very rough patch in my life that time
Him - last year did ur folks come down the same month-apr/may?
Me - yes , my mom did
Him - is the patch over?
Me - yes
Him - good that is

Me – hmmm I want to see ur picture
Him - why? did I ask urs?
Me - no , cos I want to rem you
Him - am as fat as u are... lookup ur archives...
Me - u calling a woman fat???????? bad manners…and I dont think I have archives unless its there by default.
Him - I dont mind anyone calling me fat....
Me - "woman" was the key word in "u calling a woman fat" - bad manners"
Him - sorry...
Me - so show me ur picture
Him - I wont...
Me - ???
Him - coz I got very minimal intentions of ever meeting u...unless....we talk for a few days ...u r intelligent...firebrand....but u act very pricey at times...u had career as ur focus....sometime back....lemme see if u mellowed down...
Me - lol... u know what amazes me - how diff people can see totally contradictory images of the same person …I had met a guy sometime back on a matrimonial network who was very disappointed when I told him I don’t attach much importance to career….I know u think otherwise i.e u think my career is my priroty in life (also u said u r not that guy) but seriously.....if u r working and the load is high...what do u do , don’t u simply keep on working till it passes….and get with ur life again...cos at the end of the day, that’s just a phase NOT a routine.. I mean the phase of work overload…anyway I have got to say this - u r not very good with compliments...I am sure girls in ur circle do not think of you as the sweet boy of the group
Him - nah...am an ill mannered rough boy...
Me - figures! and u talk of me mellowing down?
Him - in terms of your work and leisure time...
Me - well like u said u cant gauge empathy in the short chat terminal ...but I am guessing u can gauge somebody acting pricey? thank you for enlightening me
Him - yes u can...one cant be busy for 12 straight days not having even 5 mins to chat...
Me - ok for the record , nobody has ever felt that I act pricey ...for the simple reason that I dont.... if there were no 5 mins , there were no 5 mins, period. I wudnt have wanted to just repeat the same things (I am tired , lets talk sometime later) over and over again in those 5 minutes that you are attaching so much importance to. So I must have thght I wud talk when I have the lesiure time
Him - u still in saket? with some market research firm...Tinovate, Benovate something synovate? [I know these names are here… I haven’t forgotten to mask them]
Me - wow... that was nice ..
Him - u once sent me mail from ur company id ...that was early 2007 or late 2006. Over last 3 years we briefly talked to each other and everytime...ur work load had shooed me away...
Me - and just for future (u have enlightened me in one aspect , so I am just returning the favour for another aspect of life) - when u talk to someone abt their company , u either say the right name or dont say anything at all..... and definitely do NOT add " this that something"
Him - u were (are) intelligent and sensible to talk to...so I started again...ahan...amnesiacs dont remember anything easily.,..
Me - in response to "coz I got very minimal intentions of ever meeting u...unless....we talk for a few days ..." guess I shud tell u that even we talk a few times. I dont think we are meeting anytime soon
Him - meeting a lady diminishes her value...okie we meet 365 days later...if ever...not earlier.l..if god appeared before everyone to a small prayer,,,,no one had been worshipping every night and day...
Me - thats why u think I am saying its not happening anytime soon?
Him - and am saying let that soon be no sooner than 365 days...I like this number 365...
Me - answer me
Him - where is the question?
Me - meeting a lady diminishes her value...thats why u think I am saying its not happening anytime soon? U think I dnt wish to meet you cos I dnt wish to diminsh my value???
Him - its the other way..I dont want to diminish ur value..
Me - u think I will be lesser in person
Him - u seem a goddess from afar...let the distance come down no sooner...lol...am becoming a poet in a day...never mind...
Me - well all I can say is that there is some truth to that statement ...but definitely not the goddess part
Him – hmmm…two and half years back....we were talking....and after a month I had pleaded lets meet...u told me for three consecutive weekends u were busy...I had never pleaded so much to a woman...so it ingrained in me...Gods and goddesses ask for a lot of penance. anyways...u either are busy with dinner or your mails...
Me - well I am being patient …letting u finish
Him - see u tomorrow...if the tomrorow ever comes...and if this lady wants to talk. u havent been more patient than me...3 years...damn it...
Me - ok listen
Him - am deaf...
Me - do I have ur attention. Listen please
Him - probably thats why am I chatting? lol...
Me - alright...
Him - nah...u wanna rebuke...or again wanna show me the door...so listening would piss me off for 1 more year,,,....
Me - listen I am very sorry......... that I made u feel this way, for all its worth.... I never intended one bit to act pricey… or make u feel that ur efforts are going in vain
Him - now u would tell me..am not ur type...
Me - as I said I was going thru a rough time. let me finish please
Him - ohh okie...sorry I didnt know if this was your conversation's trajectory.. pls...finish ...I would remain silent...
Me - ok so when I said that meeting isnt going to happen soon is…because I dont live in delhi anymore
Him - ohh my god...okie...where r u then? US? Europe? Canada ?Bangalore?
Me - ok.... close to Europe…Egypt [Yeah yeah… so much for the anonymity …. YES I AM IN EGYPT]
Him - egypt? thats an uncommon choice...but okie...land of mysteries...doing what?
Me - working in market research but not in Tinovate, Benovate something or synovate , but with AC Nielsen
Him - thats a good change...u have gone from me farther away...hmmm...are workloads lesser here? workplace better?why not EU or US? egypt is just like india...I been there,,,for 11 days...
Me - well.... at the risk of sounding repetitive workload is bad since last one month but thankfully will be easier after 15th may
Him - pyramids, temples and stuff
Me - well I didnt choose egypt ..egypt chose me
Him - :) been to cruise on the nile?
Me - nopes
Him - that cleopatra and antony took...with the same cuisine...okie....so u havent traveled much...have you? just working....working n working....lol...
Me - well have been here only since last three months….have seen some places
Him - okie...u in Cairo?
Me - yes
Him - k....u non vegetraian right? great food n wine...
Me - yes I m
Him - I went there when I was 20...memories just flashed by...
Me - cool
Him - anyways.... mom yelling for dinner.,...talk to u a bit later my lady?
Me - alright
Him - Ma'salma
Me - bye
Him - good that u picked up some arabic to....bye for now... (yes yes he was the one who said Masalma not me...)
****************************************************************************************************
Of course it didnt end there... afterall he just went for dinner you see.

Amusement Calling # 6.12.9.16 + 2

2008-08-26T00:30:00.004+03:00

Same day, 10 minutes later the yahoo window opened again…. Guess guys do need to have the last word…. Or maybe they don’t want it to be the last word after all…maybe it was just his ploy of getting me talking again.

Him - btw....do tell me when u find a man who doesn’t think the same and I will tell u abt the woman who doesnt....am really looking for someone with who I talk my heart without thinking if my words would be politically correct or not...
Me - its really not abt being politically correct.... but abt the attitude…anyway , if I rem it correctly , u r the person who got very disappointed when I said NO as a response to ur question "if I am ambitious" [i dnt know why , but i just happened to rem this one incident in isolation and linked it to this guy!]....if that qualifies as ur perception of my attitude & doesn’t come under "just wishing to talk my heart out not caring abt being politically correct" ....then I guess this situation shouldn’t be given benefit of doubt either…and if I have mistaken u to be someone else here (narrating the last episode)….pardon me showing some empathy- victims of amnesia , rem?
Him - nope am not the same .Anyways....we just said bye to each other u r wasting mutual time...
Me - right I am wasting time ...cos I was the one who messaged back after the byes. Amnesia is a bitch , really......... but no sweat....I understand....... I am big on empathy
Him - J u seem to be losing ur cool...I will be back ....next time as a h-donkey....
Me - along with amnesia , short fuse is another of my many virtues
Him – hmmm…I like playing with fire
Me – hmmm…dnt want to waste ur time again...lest u shud start accusing me again
Him - I understand humans...
Me - so u r big on empathy too....I see …
Him - over chat terminal how can gauge things like empathy etc...
Me - well... sometimes u just have to trust ur instincts... why u fighting this concept of instincts
Him - am I fighting it...? am enjoying the sparks...leo-----the she lion pouncing on me...ready to devour me...without salt...
Me - oh gaawd...not again...a simple conversation turned into a kinky simile by a guy…why am I not surprised …uff!
Him - ???
Me - forget it…nothing…anyway , what do u do? for a living I mean
Him - m amnesic....forgetting doesn’t take much effort
Me - ad u telling me that pays?????? pls tell me whos the employer
Him - am in the s/w industry...
Me - okie
Him - [company name which flashes a vague blurred vision in front of my eyes… I rem this company name, and I think to myself - maybe I do know him after all]
Me - do u have a sister [so I dig for confirmation]
Him - huh...no...bro...no...
Me – ok…do u stay in the [specific] part of delhi?
Him - nope...[NCR- actual location]..?? u reading from some notes or something?
Me - lol ..no trying to beat amnesia against all odds [I resign to the fact that I don’t remember him after all]
Him - hmmm
Me - so tell me more abt urself
Him - the last time we we were talking....ur busy schedules....and days together of zero digital darshans had pissed me off...and I had told you...that I wud talk to u again a year later...365 days....got over a week back...
Me - really?
Him - now you rem me?
Me - why dont I rem that?.... oh I know...amnesia again ….anyway I apologise for giving the impression that I didnt wish to talk by feigning workload
Him - well perhaps bcos u take too many shots of vodka a night

I was zapped …..................................................To be contd

Amusement Calling # 6.12.9.16 + 1

2008-08-21T01:25:00.010+03:00

Some days later

1^st May 2008

Him - hii….nerve is ice cold today....lost its craziness? [reference to the context - my yahoo id which has words related to nerves & craziness both in it. Yeah yeah, sounds really crazy I know!!]
Me - :) ..hi there…was away from the screen
Him - paged u over a few days... no reply was forthcoming...
Me - was very very busy with work lately
Him - hmmm....well...weekend is around...
Me - its weekend for me already…today being the fst day of the 3 day long weekend
Him - 4 days then...u work sundays?
Me - yes I work sundays
Him - crazy really...u slimmed down a bit or u the same?
Me - what?
Him - nthing....
Me - I am going to ask you again....where do we know each other from…u dodged the question last time
Him - from previous incarnation..remember?
Me - very funny
Him - I was a he-parrot u were a she-parrot...
Me - I am serious.........could u please be a gentleman and let me know
Him - proposed u all my life...you never ayed....I followed u in human form as well...
Me - oh come on...a 30 year old man shud know when to don the garb of seriousness and turn away from humour
Him - where r any gentlemen left?
Me - well ok I am going to ask you this last time... are u please going to tell me where do we know each other from?
Him - I suffer from amnesia
Me - well then .... what can I say..too bad cos I am a victim too…and two victims together................??? I guess not!!
Him - I know …u infected me
Me - .Lol ..funny man…at inappropriate times also. Ok let’s start over.....
Him - inapp? how? hmm...
Me - Isn’t it the man’s prerogative to introduce himself first?
Him - m an idiot 30 springs old..
Me - ok I am an insane person with sporadic bouts of sanity
Him - gr8...u found love? in a relationship these days?
Me - I am single…u?
Him - me too...
Me - waiting for the next level of intros / questions
Him - fire ....
Me – Waiting for the guy to take the lead(man, these days u have to spell out literally everything)
Him - u fire....
Me - so guess I am actually taking the lead
Him - well....if give a guy the lead.....then lose patience quickly...
Me - ??
Him - guys are lousy at taking leads …esp. in the matters of heart
Me - and at which point did u decide this has become a matter of the heart?
Him – huh …why do men chase women and vice versa? Nature does its course
Me - well....why do men chase women? enlighten me
Him - well so that they commit stupidities, get married and produce babies
Me - hmmm....alright...I guess this is the point where I tell you that I do not intend to marry any man who defines marriage as stupidity and relates its only cause to procreating. This is the point where I decide to save ur time and effort on this woman!
Good luck with ur search though....with that attitude, trust me you are going to need all the luck u can get…. Take care..bye
Him - bye...

Did i know by now who he was? NO!!

Amusement Calling # 6.12.9.16

2008-08-18T12:40:00.006+03:00

The universe conspires in many ways to show me that I am turning old... one of the ways being, me not remembering people I interact with, online. Sometime back when I received “hey there” pop up from a not-so-familiar id, so instead of raking my brains I just thought of playing along and finding out who that person was, during the course of our conversation … (yes I am not proud of my failing memory)…

Or could it be just the fact that I am exceptionally good at weeding out everything (or everyone) from my memory that I don’t like … keeping the space vacant for better things / people. (Small brain..less space you see)

22^nd April 08

Him – Hey, how are you?
Me - good...how r u
Him - am not too bad...certainly better than yesterday…so wassup?
Me - nothing much
Him - do u have a "much" defined?
Me - actually no.. had a rough day in office.Have been having loads of work also
Him - so u didnt u leave the office in office?
Me - well yes
Him - then why carry the baggage to home?
Me - arrey i just said it cos cudnt think of saying anything else….though i agree with you
Him - hmm...agreements can make the world a better place...
Me - sure can
Him - hmmm
Me - by the way, pardon my short memory , but where did we meet online?
Him - had Akbar agreed to Salim's alliance with Anarkali... course of indian history would have been different. We met online...lets keep it to that...real world is bad and ugly...
Me - ok , lemme change the question then .... when?
Him - some months back...
Me - very enlightening. Thank you
Him - what moves u these days?
Me - my colleagues car
Him - and what gyrates u?
Me - gyrates....what choice of word....hmmm
Him - was chosen thoughtfully
Me - figures!
Him - dough or skin?
Me - listen ....i dont like talking in circles.... so let me get me this straight. Tell me what is it that u r here for ? i mean chatting for???
Him - i have none....can stop chatting if u want
Me - u have none? none of what?
Him - hidden intentions/agenda....
Me - okie . Fine .Good that we cleared that up. How old are u anyway?
Him - about to enter the 31st mile
Me - when? month?
Him – march but how does this info help u?
Me - so march 2009 u turn 31, right? just turned 30 ...hmmm. well dont wish to get annoyed by teenager ways. Thats all…. thats how it helps me
Him – hmmm…yes mar 09....31
Me - u r younger than me
Him - how much ...a decade?
Me - well lets see how percpetive r u….take a guess
Him - people say women stop aging for abt 8 years when they turn 30…u r 77 born?
Me - yes .bingo!!!
Him - u a scorpio or virgo? may be leo?
Me - leo. Good work. You sure u dont know me...cos i am starting to have my doubts now :)
Him - 26 july?
Me - nopes
Him - okie... never mind...
Me - ok u r good ...but dont push ur luck

After a while

Him - u there?
Me - yes
Him - my eyes want to deceive whatever light faling on them...see u some other time...bye...
Me - oh ok
Him - gnite....
Me - gnite

And i still had no idea who he was.

31

2008-08-12T20:17:00.001+03:00

I turned 31 today!!

And it doesnt feel so bad....

No fire without a smoke?

2008-08-12T03:33:00.011+03:00

Its been more than one month now that I quit smoking. I always thought that I could quit anytime I wanted, that I am not addicted to nicotine ....and I was right. Maybe not! Only time will tell.

When people came to know about it, a lot of undeserved credit for being health conscious came my way. Although I knew this was not the primary reason for this decision (it was just a bonus), I didn't correct them right away as I didn’t wish to talk too much about the actual reason. But then my threshold to hear how new-age I am, how I am doing all the right things blah blah (I had recently joined a gym too) was crossed and I couldn’t hear it anymore. I had to clear the air. The real reason for quitting smoking came from the fact that my mom was visiting me. Its not that she doesn’t know about my smoking (although I am not sure if she has any clue about the details like since how long, how many a day, intermittent or continuous etc etc).

So you say why quit then? Well the thing is, even when I know she knows, I obviously cant smoke in front of her. Now given the fact that we were going to a spend a lot of time together during this trip of hers, it automatically meant that I would have had to refrain from smoking for long periods of time in a stretch. I was sure I would crave for smoking during those times (Ok I know I said before that I think I am not addicted …. but did I say not addicted psychologically??). I was sure not being able to smoke during those hours would make me irritable and probably I would end up being cross with her at some subconscious level. I didn’t want to take that chance. I didn’t want to run that risk of saying/doing something which would have made her feel bad especially in a faraway land where she has no one but me. I wanted the non smoking situation not to become a function of her presence but a restraint imposed by my own self. At that time,I didn’t know if I would be successful in actually quitting, but I wanted to try nevertheless. So I did (try), starting two weeks before she arrived.

So I have been holding my ground for sometime now (5 weeks now) and I am doing fine, although I would be lying if I said I never had those weak moments when I felt like giving in. But to my credit, these moments were rare and comfortably spaced. So I carried on with my self imposed non smoking condition. You know how they say that after quitting for some time, if you happen to have as much as one smoke, there is no chance of your continuing your resolve after that. Guess what, "they" are wrong. I happened to go for some drinks twice during these days (once with friends & once my MDs idea of managers meeting over drinks) … craved for a smoke each time and had a couple of them each time. (I don’t remember if I have ever had a drink without a smoke… yes I know I am a bad girl :P... or maybe i started smoking the same time when i accepted the idea of social drinking). So even after those couple of smokes, I havent gone back to it .. "it" being regular smoking, of course! And I am fine with those two aberrations.

Ok so all good, right? Actually no. In the wake of this non smoking existence, I have been faced with some problems. Now, if i don't suffer from the physical withdrawal symptoms, what on earth could be my problem, you ask?? Well....

The problem is that now I don’t know how to take my breaks during working hours . You see, for the last 7 years, since i have been working, taking a break was synonymous with going for a smoke. Now I just don’t know what to do. And surfing internet etc wouldn’t work because I need to get up from my seat at least once in 2-3 hours. Arghhh!

The problem is that I don’t know what to tell myself during long boring meetings to keep me going. The idea of lighting a cigarette as soon as the meeting is over used to work wonders for my motivation to make it through the meetings. I don’t have that anymore. Arghhhh!

The problem is that all my ideas of unwinding (e.g. after a long day at work, sitting in the balcony with a cup of tea or sitting on the floor watching TV or lying in the couch listening to music), all my ideas/fantasies of soothing moments of pleasure (like feeling the wind in my hair driving through the hills, feeling the warmth of tea after experiencing chilling cold in my bones during a windy winter day, sitting on a rock in a moonlit night on some secluded beach) invariably involved a smoking moment. Now these (even at the idea stage) feel incomplete. Arghhhhhhhhh!

I know, I know, the benefits far outweigh these silly sounding problems of mine. For starters if a guy (esp a prospective groom suggested by some family connection) now asks me about smoking, I can comfortably say NO … and unlike what i experienced in the past, avoid going through a tortuous predicament of choosing between telling him the truth and preventing this news from travelling back to my mother (You see at one point of time, my mother didn’t know. And I didn’t want her to know from someone else but me, if at all. And imagine that someone being connected to my family network in some way. It would have been scandalous to say the least).

I remember one such incident when I was really torn between these choices – going with the truth OR protecting my mother from a shocking discovery & the unnecessary gossip/ controversy in the family (You see, it was a family network alliance).

So the guy asked me the dreaded question. I had to think really hard inspite of all the hard work put in my room mates (I used to stay in a PG then, full of such kind helping souls) in teaching me how to either clearly lie or tactfully evade the question. Anyway in that meeting, when the question was popped, I decided I couldn’t do either of the two (no lying – cos I thought what if this is really important to him? And no evading the question – simply because I suck at that big time).

So I came up with this – “I used to but I have quit now” After a split second when my conscience told me that what I had just uttered amounted to lying, I added – “but I am very prone to start again anytime”…. Ha! Make sense out of that!! Yes, I was crazy back then too.

How did the guy respond, you ask?? Well he kept quiet…. of course! But in his defense, who could make anything out of that confused statement. Plus i know for sure, he didn’t have a slow wit - How did i know? Heres how - I thought of having a little fun with him before ending the meeting (once I figured at some point during our meeting that this alliance is not going to work out cos smoking was a big deal to him. Again, can you blame him?).

So I asked him – “What if all goes well, we decide to marry and on the big day I come to you and tell you that I have started again” He just smiled so I had to force the realization upon him that the question wasn't meant to be rhetorical and I was expecting an answer. He smiled again. I asked again. After 3-4 times of repeating this, he finally said – “I will give you the light”. Now wasnt that sweet and funny both? Why, you ask? Well.. let me remind you that he was not ok with smoking in the first place(even a past association with it) and now imagine / visualize him on the eventful day, holding the light for me after I pull out my cigarette from that little shiny black bag which came as a part of my classy wedding ensemble :P

And I digress.

Anyway I cant say how long I am going to last in this. Afterall this is my first ... before this i never even thought of quitting...yes , not even once.

Give up on not giving up on my ability to sustain?? I don’t think so.

I am sure I was a fire.....even before i embraced the smoke.

Raindrops...

2008-08-09T04:09:00.003+03:00

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

[trumpet]

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

P.S. - This was just a test post for a new blog that i thought of creating and later dropped the idea. Preserving the post though for two reasons - 1. I didnt want the commenters hard work to go waste :) 2. I really like this track! It was originally titled as test post for obvious reasons!

When the orange turned green!

2008-08-07T02:58:00.007+03:00

A three and half year old Gina sitting in the kindergarten room, angry at her mother for not sending her jam in the lunch but some vegetables, crushes her exam paper into a ball. Crushing the paper doesn’t curb her anger, so she stamps on the paper and feels a little better

All kids dash towards the door as soon as the bell rings handing their respective papers to the teacher, while she keeps sitting there. For she is angry, not in the mood to take any exams, even if it’s only a colouring exercise but she knows just too well that somehow she cant leave the room without turning her paper in.

So she just sits there, not particularly waiting for anything to happen but wanting it to end somehow.

The teacher, Miss T after counting one paper less in her pile, spots the only kid sitting in the last row asks her if she has submitted her's. Gina remains silent and Miss T figures that she herself must have forgotten to pass on the paper to this kid in the first place. So gives Gina one more paper to colour

This one too meets the same fate, joining the first ball under Gina's desk. Miss T having missed this the second time also, asks Gina to submit the paper after a while. Gina too, taking upon the teacher, shows consistency in her behaviour by being silent again. Miss T repeats the question in a loud voice “Where is your paper?" twice.

Not able to withstand her teacher’s lack of observation, Gina points towards the paperballs under her desk.

Miss T, after having spotted not one but two of those paperballs, sitting motionless now after loads of stamping , loses it and gives Gina one tight slap.

After the satisfying experience of slapping Gina, she gives her yet another paper to colour. This time Gina is convinced that Miss T’s sense of observation has been restored miraculously, so she focuses on just getting the whole colouring thing over with.

Gina colours and gives the paper back to Miss T. Both of them are just too glad to leave the room

“Wait, Gina, just one second” – Miss T stops Gina in her tracks. “What colour is an orange?”

“Orange” – Gina replies without blinking an eye

“And what colour have you filled in?” – asks confused Miss T.

“Green” – Gina replies without losing a second again

Miss T, angry at Gina’s defiant attitude, takes her to the principal’s office and narrates the whole incident emphasizing on Gina’s nerve to rebel against the teacher so openly. The principal decides to ask the child herself as to why would she choose to colour the orange green when she knows it should have been orange.

“Because its not ripe yet” - declares Gina.

The principal decides to rule in favour of Gina.

Amusement Calling # 5347

2008-08-05T00:22:00.016+03:00

A recent mail received on Shaadi.com

Message received:
hello [name] here iam not rih person and siable so will you marry me.please dont break my heart

About me section
"hello [name] here i very credulous and honest guy. i am m. b. a from howard so that is not eseencial my life partner should be in abroad my life partner should be decent kind hearted person and single person in the family. dont worry i am seeking girl who can stand on me at every placxe"

Hmmmmm... I am not sure i understand what he really wishes to convey but who cares.....
MBA from Howard, seeking a woman to stand on him at every place... Can you blame me if I cant resist falling for him?

P.S. - He says dont worry in his last line .... but I do! [As an afterthought maybe i dont .... maybe its just that my heart desparately wanted to say "I do" in any possible way in his context]

Chapter Europe!!

2008-07-30T12:59:00.012+03:00

A recent tarot card reading (courtesy - One of my Indian friends) told me that I will be off to another country after Dec 2008...somewhere in Europe.

And no its not UK. Cards said a definite NO for UK.So now i am thinking ...which country?? Suggestions please!!

A day in the hospital!

2008-07-27T12:56:00.012+03:00

9.30 am – The throbbing pain in the inflammated area around the boil once again convinces me that its never going to leave me. The hopeless optimist that i am , the hope of getting painkillers after the scheduled doctor visit keeps me alive

10.00 am – Though the visit to the doctor at 12.45pm seems zillions of years away in all that pain but I endure.

11.00 am – Crocin comes in as an interim painkiller

12.15 pm – One of my reportees, a kind soul, my favourite girl (Lets call her Daisy) comes to my house to pick me up for the doctors appointment. I eat Upma (a south Indian dish prepared & sent by an Indian colleague whose cooking enthusiasm still hasn’t faded. Then again, its only been 2 weeks since he arrived in this country and one week since he shifted to his apartment from the hotel)

12.40 pm – We reach the hospital. The number of cars parked in the street makes it look like a second hand car market. After 20 minutes of struggle, Daisy finally parks the car somewhere far away.

1.10 pm – I notice that it’s not a small clinic that I had envisioned when I got the appointment booked by another of my colleagues, Lily, the previous day. We enter the multistory hospital, figure which floor that particular doctor sits on, talk to the nurses and pay something like 1000 INR just to see the doctor.(No this is not the doctors consultation fees... thats separate, of course!) They tell us to wait as the doctor still has to arrive.

1.30 pm – We wait. I successfully hide my surprise on the doctor being late. The appointment was scheduled for 12.45 pm. But then again, we Indians ourselves are not the most punctual souls on the earth. So I smile. I start talking to Daisy to kill time. We manage to kill some time

1.45 pm – Daisy checks with the nurse. The doctor still hasn’t arrived. And my patience hasn’t run out yet. I wonder if this is how the term “patient” has come into being.

2.00 pm – I tell her how great a subordinate she is. She tells me how great a boss I am.

2.15 pm – Daisy again goes to check with the nurse about the doctors arrival. “Why wouldn’t we have called your name had the doctor come in?” - The nurse shouts at her, putting all doubts to rest about the power of her vocal chords....Just in case Daisy was wondering if not being called till now had to do with the faulty/ weak vocal chords of that nurse. I think all nurses are trained to read your minds.

2.30 pm – Daisy returns to her original waiting seat besides me. We try to kill some more time. I tell Daisy why I like her as a person, she tells me why she likes me.

2.45 pm – I start getting restless after waiting for so long. And Daisy starts getting uncomfortable sensing that she might have to go to the same nurse again. She puts her hands on her ears and gears up to go the nurse again. I tell her I have a better idea instead. I ask her to teach me how to say – “Has this doctor Mr. ABC arrived yet?” the local language. Dutifully , she obliges. I memorise it , I practice it. People around us think we are crazy and make no effort to hide their amusement .

2.48 pm – I go to the nurse’s desk. I throw the question in the local language at the nurse with confidence. The nurse hears me but doesn’t look up from the desk. I feel proud that I didn’t mutilate the language for this question and didnt let it turn out to be something laughable instead. So all goes well.... except for a small glitch. The nurse responds to my question. Of course, in the same language. Now not knowing what else to do, like a dumbass I repeat the question. I repeat it in the hope that the nurse would repeat her reply too, giving me a chance to memorise the content of her reply, to be translated by Daisy who is seated at a comfortable distance from these scary nurses. My memorization skills fail me but my courage perseveres. And I ask the question yet again. At this point the two nurses who had the back towards me look at me like I am a retard. I don’t blame them, instead pity them at their inability to admire my linguistic capabilities. The first nurse decides to have a little fun with me and changes her original reply. Just when I think I am getting there… just when I think its only a matter of catching the second half of her reply (the first half was there in my mind, thanks to the first two times the nurse yelled at me). I remember just in time that I am a realist and I give up.

2.50 pm – I come back to the waiting seats. Daisy asks me if I was able to remember & replay the question. When I nod my head in affirmation, she gives me a confused look silently asking me why then I don’t seem to have an answer. I am glad to be the one to announce this newly discovered epiphany to her that just memorising the question isn’t enough to get the answers… you need to be able to actually understand the answers. At this point me and Daisy decide this is amusing. So we honour this series of events with a hearty laugh.

3.15 pm – I hear a white angel call my name. The voice is distant and it all seems so mystical with a backdrop of pristine white clouds, the floating white robe of the angel and the total lack of gravity. I begin to smile only to realise that Daisy is shaking me out of my slumber. The absence of all that mystical aura makes me wince. I tell myself at least I am not dead yet…. and that should be a good thing. But at this moment, I dont do a good job of convincing myself .

3.20 pm- I drag myself to the doctors waiting room (Where was I before that, you ask? Oh even though the hospital is in a similar condition as any other government facility, waiting rooms are something the architect hasn’t compromised on) Of course, I wait for my name to be called.

3.30 pm - The door to his room finally opens and the patient comes out. But like all other social etiquette in this country, saying bye is also an elaborate process and takes more than 10 minutes. Yes ladies and gentlemen, 10 F****** minutes to say bye to your doctor, in his working hours, when he has a room full of patients to attend to, when he’s about three hours late for his scheduled appointment. I am about to yell at that damn woman patient but just then, thankfully, I remember my virtual silencer that I keep handy for situations just like these (In case you are wondering what a virtual silencer is, its just a combination of a LOT of conviction that yelling doesn’t help AND the actual motion of putting one hand over your mouth. I usually charge royalty for giving away this therapeutic technique of mine, but what the heck…. You guys are my loyal readers!)

3.45 pm – The doctor sees me, makes small talk about India and asks me to lie down for him to examine me. One look at me and he decides that he wants to cut me open. That I need an operation. Ok ok a minor operation. But an o.p.e.r.a.t.i.o.n nevertheless. I ask him about the money I would need for this. After he’s done telling me that it would cost a small fortune I excuse myself from his cabin on the pretext of arranging the money. You see after one fateful evening in the most famous mall of this city (a blog post for another time!), I do not carry much cash with me.

3.50 pm – I tell Daisy I am not sure about this cutting thing. I ask her about what I should do. She calls the girl in the office, Lily, who has directed me to this doctor. Lily in turn calls her uncle, who has got me the appointment in the first place. The uncle of course calls the doctor. And then the obvious happens. The circle follows the reverse motion - Uncle calls Lily, Lily calls Daisy and I get notified that the doctor thinks I should let them do it. Errr… but isn’t that where I started from? Do i know any better reason now to go ahead with the operation apart from the fact that the Doctor said so?. But then, I cant tell for sure, can I?….Afterall my head is reeling under all this pressure of having to decide about something like this, when all I wanted from the doctor was a goddamn prescription for some antibiotic pills.

4.00 pm – I surrender to the forces. Daisy offers to go and get the money from any nearby ATM. Before that she admits me in the hospital. Yes as you must have guessed, the operation can’t be performed on an out-patient. The room is dirty but with the magic of little tips to the cleaning lady, it becomes manageable with sheets on the bed changed, floor wiped and a supply of tissues, soaps & clean flannel gown.

4.30 pm – They tell me I will be taken to the operation theatre in a bit. I wait on the bed in a once-white flannel gown. Daisy is back from the ATM & has ordered food from KFC on my suggestion. She is elated on her discovery of KFC delivering even in the hospitals.

4.40 pm – The nurse pricks my finger for diabetes test. I try hard to see if the needle is a new one. Damn, she hides it just too well. Instead she tells Daisy in the local language that she finds me beautiful (as a compensation probably) and asks her which nationality I am. I wonder if this is a way of extracting better tips.

4.50 pm – Two men come to the room with a patient on the stretcher and put her on the bed adjacent to mine. They motion with their hands for me to get on the stretcher. I worry that the sheet on the stretcher is not clean. I get them to change that. Then I worry my flannel gown will fly open as the nurse never gave me that promised piece of clothing to cover my back. I manage to hold the gown tightly on me with difficulty ...but I manage.

4.55 pm – I wonder why this one nurse keeps touching my face saying something like “pretty face”. Ok I know she means well and I don’t have any problem with her freedom of speech, it’s the freedom to touch, and that too repeatedly, that I am not ok with. For the life of me , I cant figure out why in the world, would you wish to touch a strangers face, so many times.

4.55 pm – I go from floor to floor in an elevator and enjoy the horizontal view. I never realised that the world looked so different from this angle. I discover that I am claustrophobic when it comes to lying on a stretcher in an elevator, surrounded closely with 6 strangers headed to different floors. The elevator isn’t big. I don’t want my vision to go anywhere but their faces and I expect the same from them. At this point, I am sure I am getting too ambitious with these expectations.

5.00 pm – It suddenly hist me that I am headed to an Operation Theatre. I am reminded of the fancy ambience that surrounds almost all the surgeries in “Greys Anatomy”. I don’t feel very non glamorous now.

5.01 pm – I am lying on the same stretcher outside a small room they store their drugs in. So much for the fancy ambience...eh? There are no handsome doctors parading around in their blue scrubs either. No Mcdreamy, no Mcsteamy, no Alex, not even Adison Montogomery. I am starting to see the glamour fly out of the non existent window. I make a mental note to stop watching the reruns of Grey’s Anatomy.

5.10 pm – I finally move to the OT. The condition of OT doesn’t help me get back that receding glamour quotient .

5.12 pm – The anaesthetist introduces himself and asks me to narrate some interesting experience as a foreigner in this country. I tell him about the day I went to register a police complaint about the theft of my handbag. I narrate how the police guys kept asking me repeatedly for my name with the conversation going something like this - Police - “Name please” Me – “ABC” Police – “yes , yes but name”. Me – “I said ABC”, Police – “yes we know but name” Me – “its ABC” Police - * a long sigh* "could you please tell us your N.A.M.E". Me – “Its A.B.C.” All this while the nurses in the OT along with the anaesthetist & the other doctor are laughing their lungs out. (To complete the story … after repeated attempts of me telling them my name, a sudden realization dawned upon me and it all made sense. I remembered that my name in their local language means “Theft” . Yes you read it right….it means theft. Need I say more? Replace "Theft" in place of ABC in this conversation ...and then you see why these police guys were so exasperated with me)

5.15 pm – I have been injected with the local anaesthesia already. While I was busy narrating this story, the anaesthetist was busy pricking the needle in my abdominal abscess from all angles. I worry that the local anaesthesia is not effective; so the doctor gives me a demo by scratching that area with a needle and proving to me that the area indeed is numb. Given the limited periphery of my vision right now, i realise its wise to graciously choose to believe what the doctor is telling me. You see even if i tried i couldnt have caught his adept fingers at holding the needle just a mm away from my skin and making me believe otherwise.

5.16 pm – At this point in time, the other doctor (my main doctor) decides hes been idle for too long so he springs to action. I cant see his hand movements fully but I can see a blade like thing in his hand. As much as I try I cant escape from thinking about the movie Awake. I really dont want to remember the movie at this moment, especially the anesthetic awareness scene where the anaesthesia gives the patient partial paralysis, so while he cant move or speak, he can feel everything the doctors do to him . I mean every damn thing. I see the doctor’s hands moving and I can see my psychologically felt pain yet I don’t feel anything. Physically, of course!

5.36 pm – The doctor announces that the cut went deeper than he thought and would take about one week to ten days to heal. Writes a prescription for those damn antibiotics.... ahhhh, finally! Asks me to come see him in his clinic after one day for change of dressing.

5.38 pm – Its time to take the horizontal tour again, to the elevator, to the allotted room... back to the same bed.

5.45 pm – Daisy is called again on the OT floor as she hasn’t paid one nurse her undeserved tip

5.46 pm – I start changing into my clothes and happen to see the size of the bandage. A small scream escapes my mouth. Okay, the doctor prepared me for deep but this long…. I see that the bandage spans more than one foot long.

5.55 pm –Daisy finishes all paperwork, billing and tipping. In case you are wondering, no it wasn’t a government managed hospital. The bills would testify for that.

6.15 pm – I am finally home with a 35 cm long bandage on my belly, sitting in front of TV promising myself to remember the salt names for antibiotic medicines for future (Could have bought these antibiotics from a pharmacy in the first place …. only if I had the memory to remember these names OR sense to check with someone back home for the same OR the intelligence to figure that in this country you need a prescription to make a medicinal purchase)

How to spot an Indian in my office!!

2008-07-19T17:35:00.012+03:00

Its human nature to generalize things, patterns & trends. Building on this premise , this is how we Indians (about 4-5 of us in the office) get defined here …(as observed by the localites)

We do not waste time in exchanging pleasantries. We get straight to the point. E.g. A mail from an Indian would read simply “When can I have this report?” as against a mail from a local asking the same question “Hi ABC, Hope this mail finds you well. How was your weekend / Hope you are having a good day today (whatever fits). It would be really great if you could let me know by when can I get to have a look at the report. Your co-operation is highly appreciated. Have a good day. Thanks in advance, Regards XYZ”. And yes, this applies to the phone conversations too. Maybe we Indians are a rude race (my opinion, not my fellow Non Indians) or maybe we are simply more task-oriented than people-oriented.

We are not big on food. We either don’t eat at all or eat very little. Now this perception is based solely on the fact that fellow Indians in my office are all either calorie conscious or are not a big fan of junk food (the only choice available if you wish to have lunch in office… no pantry/canteen facility, so we essentially have to order in)

We speak very fast. Now I don’t know about this one. “Fast” is a relative term afterall.

We use big words in our communication (English). I don’t know if I agree with them or not, nevertheless this is one of the perceptions about Indians (If my blogger friend Anand was actually hired here and this perception was based on him, I would have certainly agreed with them on this :D... BTW this is a compliment Anand, just in case you start thinking otherwise) Actually most of them say they take after us to enhance their vocabulary (yeayyy!!!) but there is always a risk that you would give out an impression of being a show-off, or making people uncomfortable with their own vocabulary.

We are technically very sound. So there, just like that, we gain their respect & acceptance because we are Indians. Of course there is a flip side to it. If you are an honest soul and want to correct their perception informing them of your average / lower than average technical skills, they would never believe you and the pressure of great expectations would continue looming over your head. Well , only if you have learnt the art of portraying yourself as knowledgeable, there’s not much to worry.

More as and when I observe/ learn…

Melancholy or Bliss?

2008-07-19T17:31:00.009+03:00

These tracks are probably supposed to stir a lot of emotion in you.... but i am pretty sure among all these varied emotions , what i felt wasnt one of the intended ones.
I checked with my friends ... and when asked about how they felt after listening to these tracks, sadness/melancholy reverberated in some form or the other in all of their reactions

But everytime i listen to these tracks, I experience totally different emotions.....(Of course, i had never seen these videos before posting them here... I have never been a fan of music videos, i feel the video only detracts from the pure experience of audio. I talk only of the audio here.)

I feel a sudden surge of stimulating joy, everytime I listen to this

Again, listening to this one soothes my senses with joy again :)

Let me know guys, what emotions did you feel while listening to these tracks..

P.S. Both these tracks are Pakistani compositions. God Bless their music genius!

Epiphany !!!

2008-07-18T12:07:00.011+03:00

So its official now- I am a flaky, head in the clouds daydreamer Mermaid ..... hehehehehe

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are.
While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need.
Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.
You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

So what are you guys??

To date or To marry?

2008-07-17T16:59:00.007+03:00

A guy answering questions about two girls - one hes currently dating and the other one he would eventually marry. Can you figure which girl does he eventually marry?

Q – Match the pairs - Fish / Bird : Girl A / Girl B
A – Fish – Girl A , Bird – Girl B

Q - Match the pairs – An NGO activist / A Socialite : Girl A / Girl B
A – A Socialite – Girl A , An NGO activist – Girl B

Q - Match the pairs – A woman clad in white saree / A westernized salwar kameez : Girl A / Girl B
A – A westernized salwar kameez – Girl A , A woman clad in white saree – Girl B

Q - Match the pairs – Yellow / Red : Girl A / Girl B
A – Yellow - Girl A , Red – Girl B

Q - Match the pairs – Long free flowing mane (like Rekha in Silsilay) / Short (Shoulder Length) trendy hair cut : Girl A / Girl B
A – Short (Shoulder Length) trendy hair cut – Girl A , Long free flowing mane (like Rekha in Silsilay) – Girl B

Q - Match the pairs – White / Black : Girl A / Girl B
A – White – Girl A , Black – Girl B

Q - Match the pairs – A loving daughter in law / A great mother of two : Girl A / Girl B
A – Fits in neither (cos she loves to fight so not the first one & cos she wud make her children all talk and no action just like her own self)– Girl A , Would fit in both probably – Girl B

Q - Match the pairs – A polka dotted dress /A zig –zag pattern dress: Girl A / Girl B
A – (… after much deliberation) Anything to anyone . No clear choice , both go with both

Memory Bites!!

2008-07-13T16:22:00.005+03:00

“Give me a bite of the apple” says 11 year old Shina to her 8 year old sister Tina who is happily munching on the apple she got as the Independence Day celebration refreshment from the school authorities.

“No” says Tina

“Ok then I would not bring you here, to my school the next year” threatens Shina

Tina, whose own school is far away, who always prefers accompanying Shina to her school rather than going to her own on special days like these, fearing the consequences that Shina just mentioned, hands over the apple to her sister for her to take a bite, without blinking an eye. Shina recognises that look on Tina's face as fear , feels guilty, but takes the bite nevertheless

20 years later, Shina still isn't free of that guilt. She still cries every time she remembers that helpless look on Tina’s face.

I miss...

2008-07-11T23:45:00.006+03:00

Rains – I miss everything that happens before the rain (the collective effort of all those clouds , the anticipation of it actually raining….and so on) and everything that happens during & after it actually rains (the sound, the smell, the visual, the craving for tea at that time…everything!!). Ohhhhh I miss it all so much.

Movie outings - I miss going to movies almost every weekend .No Hindi movies on big screen here

Driving - I haven’t and wouldn’t buy a car here. The parking situation scares me.

FM - without this, I have no way of knowing which new tracks I would want in my collection. I am not much of a fan of watching music videos on TV.

Shoe Shopping – Like any other girl, this used to be at least a monthly activity. In the last 6 months, I have only bought 2 pairs and that too with much effort. Its not that shoes aren’t available here, however the styles, the prices, the variety … its not the same!!

Head Massages – Apparently salons here don’t offer this. Inspite of the fact that going-to-a-salon is much higher frequency phenomenon here for women; the focus is mainly on look-good activities. I miss the feel-good services like a head massage(oil), an indulgent pedicure (a pedicure here essentially means spending ten minutes on the nails mainly…yes, that’s it! Arghhhhhhhhh!) and so on.

Rotis (home-made)- don’t get wheat flour here. I know it’s unbelievable but that’s how it is.
My cell phone’s ringing diarrohea (or diarrhea) – I miss it,mostly on weekends. Sometimes the phone keeps lying in my handbag all through the weekend without me feeling the need to even look at it once during these two days. I miss talking to friends on the weekends.

AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa

2008-07-11T23:27:00.005+03:00

Sometimes i wish to scream for no apparent reason whatsoever.

I am feeling like that at this very moment.
Am I crazy or do we all have such urges?

Amusement Calling # 1211

2008-07-11T19:46:00.016+03:00

This is just another Random Nut Case …who messaged me on yahoo today

RNC: hi.. asl
Me: do I know u?
RNC: no idea... ur asl?
Me: Then how come u r messaging me?
RNC: ur id was there. ….Donno….ur asl
Me: where? Where was my id?
RNC: it showed in my cell I mean ur id that u r online….ur asl
Me: I dnt understand... I dnt think I know u...out of the blue u message me.,... and tell me that u got to know that I am online through your cell…..and then insist on my asl.... without introducing urself.... I find that odd, strange and rude
RNC: bye

So "ur asl" must be being used as a punctuation mark these days, to be used the end of every sentence... and as lazy as I am, I can never keep up with these emerging trends ... Damn!!

Guess, some supernatural power up there insists on having a laugh at my expense ; how else do you explain my weirdo-attracting-magnetism going through the roof these days?

Amusement Calling # 1082

2008-07-09T23:44:00.029+03:00

Ever experienced raw amusement, loads of it in its most unadulterated form? I have. Here goes the story. Just for the sheer element of unintended humour in this conversation (and pretty much of it!!), I felt it didn't need the aid of my comments, which I usually insert in these dialogues to let the readers decode my thoughts at that point. But for this one….. my suggestion is sit back, light a cigarette, get a cup of coffee/tea, and enjoy!

I know the matrimonial sites have inbuilt messengers but for some reason, I never log on there. One day, when I had nothing to do, I thought - What the heck, let’s try this! Among all the chat requests that I got (Being a free member, you can only receive chat requests from other online premium members), there was only one case who was NOT divorced with kids (Ok call me closed minded but hey, if I am not in love with the guy , why should I be looking for someone like that?), not 5 years younger to me, not 12 years senior to me, not unemployed… and so on (You get the picture!). Now just so you understand the context of the below conversation, I should probably let you know how this whole chat thing works there. You get a request from someone and you are notified of the member’s id only. Now you can either go check out his profile & then choose to accept / decline the chat request OR you can just accept straight away to open the chat window where a summary of the requester’s profile shows & then decide. Yes, you guessed it right. I chose the easy way out and accepted all requests that came my way , looked at their profile summaries in the chat windows and then made the decision to talk or just close the chat window.

As I was saying, I could find only one seemingly appropriate profile (Yes, all other chat windows were closed).By now, I am sure you have a fair understanding of what I call “appropriate” (in case you haven’t read any of the Amusement calling series, “Appropriate” to me means close to my age, educated, employed, and if I happen to read the profile then having a profile with no grammatical mistakes (Spelling errors are not that big a turn off!).So I started talking to this guy on yahoo on an id provided by him in the chat window of the matrimonial site messenger Lets call him IH

Mar 2008
Me - so I missed your [matrimonial site] id
IH - 4get it
Me - cud u please tell me your id on that site?
IH - what is the point
Me - what do u mean? I wish to read your profile
IH - hmm read it later…chat with me
Me - alright but I would still need your id for reading it later.
IH - go to your statistics, chat figures, u will get my id
Me- When u can give it [his id] to me right here simply, why take that complicated route?
IH - no pain no gain
Me - seriously? You want the first communication to go like this?
IH - what? I am being honest …u r getting serious [my name]
Me - well I just asked for your id...is it that big a deal?
IH - No it is not, but then this show your seriousness. u chatted with me on that id
Me - well if I wasn’t serious I wouldn’t be talking to you now would I?
IH - and u do not remember that , ask me your id , I will give it to u rite now, [my id on that site]
Me - forget it.. Guess u judge seriousness by these small things
IH - yeah small things make a lot of difference
Me - if u looked any deeper u would realize something. I am chatting to you right now, right? Now why would I be if I wasn’t serious?
IH - how come I remember your id, and u do not?
Me- I just don’t... cos I believe the person is more imp than the id...now if u cant get that….I cant help it
IH - k , u r very pretty [Reference : my picture in my profile]
Me- thx. now may I have your id please?
IH - noops . u r just one year younger to me. I like your nose. u got my profile ??
Me- I am not looking / searching for your profile your id now ...neither am I now going to ask you for your id anymore. u take care
IH - whyyyy?? u look short tempered I mean
Me- u r too unreasonable & obstinate
IH - tx , thx a tonne. But I can bet I am the person u r going to land up with now. U r truly my kind
Me- what confidence :) u have there
IH - yeah. Trust me. I am an incorrigible flirt
Me- I dnt like ppl like that
IH - dunt worry u will start liking an honest person like me…. when u will know the real person in me
Me- I am not taking this conversation further if u r not willing to give out your id
IH - thx for saving my life
Me- saving ppl like u is one purpose of my life
IH - what for?? Charity ??
Me- what do u care
IH - hhmm...good question. see I know even u r interested
Me- you really amuse me
IH - that is why u r replying to my pings , oh plzzz close your trap i mean your schemes
Me- well...ok if thats what it takes for u to get the message, u wouldnt get anything from me now. good bye
IH - hey [my yahoo id] girl…hang on. can we share some pics here? u and me
When I didn’t reply
IH - u r a nerd . byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

4 minutes later
IH - do u have a webcamera? hey okey fine . I like your stubbornness …I give up.let's talk. otherwise we both will miss our opportunities
Me- u know what u have to do for that
IH – yeah …I have to woo you now
Me- think again
IH - I am ready to woo you
Me- think again that’s not the right answer
IH - see do not do this. I will fall in luv with u without having met u. It will be difficult for me
Me- still not the correct answer
IH - plzzzz. I will fall in luv with u. see do not dot this. plzzzz
Me- fine u don’t wish to talk ...its ok with me.... cos if u did u would have known what u have to do
IH - I want a partner like u but not like this. I will woo u in style
Me- why was I not talking to u? or rather stopped talking?
IH - u were angry with me. honey
Me- Ok… you are going on the right track now…. Now take a deep breath… relax …and think again… Yes I was angry ….(think some more) ….and why was that?
IH - coz I was flirting with u
Me- no
IH - thennnn
Me- scroll up and figure that out
IH - ???. plzzz .. see u r a lovely lady and apt for me and to settle down with me. Height would be a concern but it is okey I will manage
Me- scroll up
IH – what… I cannot scroll myself up
Me- read the chat log
IH - what I do not know how to operate that thing….tell me

I remained busy in the other work I was doing

IH - hiii
Me- u still dnt know why I wasn’t talking to you???
IH -see u r being very ruthless
Me- answer yes or no
IH- have mercy on me
Me - ??
IH - plz have mercy
Me- I asked u a simple question
IH - what??
Me- u still don’t know why I wasn’t talking to you???
IH - what?? Yeah what??
Me- u know or u don’t know?
IH - yeah
Me- so tell me what is it
IH - why are u terrorising me?
Me- u still haven’t answered my question
IH - never know I might be your life partner. tell me u accept chat request without reading the profile?
Me- do u wish to argue abt this or kill it once and for all? ...take your pick
IH - yeah I know what I am in for. see on [matrimonial site] I have left offline messages for u [He meant I should go, check the sit for messages on my messenger to see who messaged me, hence get his id] . see I am soo good and u' Hitler

Beyond this point, I knew I was only in for the amusement and nothing else.

About 5 minutes later
IH - are u alive?
Me- so u r not going to tell me…hmmm
IH - yaar...u r difficult
Me- a girl would rather be called difficult than easy
IH - yeah. I like u. Friends?
Me- listen I can’t access the [matrimonial site] messenger so....this is the last time I am going to ask you. If u wish to take this further u have to give me a chance of reading your profile
IH - why??? Why can't u access the [matrimonial site] messenger
Me- I don’t know
IH - darling
Me - ??
IH - sweetheart I will loose u this way. I do not want to loose u. Where will u get a handsome guy like me, a good package?
Me - and yet u r not willing to answer a simple question. Giving away your id is such an ego killer for you? Is that it?
IH - yeah..gimme your number I will call u
Me - are u kidding me?
IH - why ? [country of residence] - my college senior is a country head with BenQ in your work permit place
Me - ok listen buddy ... are u sure u want to take this further cos if u r then u might as well as give me your id
IH - yeah but then I need to hear your voice
Me - cos I cant play these games anymore
IH - hear your voice. These are not games. This shows that on a matrimonial site u r not aware of things and more interested in calling the shots
Me - alright...its clear that u do not wish to proceed further
IH - cross your heart. are u interested in me
Me - forget it. I am leaving. good night
IH tell me na. do not feel shy
Me - lol.... do I look the shy types?
IH - I know I am very sexy . Especially my drowsy eyes. u will go weak in your knees. okey jokes apart..what's your number?
Me - u have some nerve man
IH - thx. I am different. your num?

I coudnt take this anymore… yes the amusement was getting too much for me to handle

After 2 minutes
IH - u there. ….are u alive? see again u will cause me a heart attack . See it is 3’o clock in India and I am waiting for u

After 5 minutes
IH - hellloooooo…pricey female. Go To hell

2 minutes later
IH - hey… see I will miss u…okey I will not tease from now on,… promise

So the Id Hider actually had many other talents too… like narcissism (and nauseating amount of it), afflictions of a nimble heart, his self professed sex quotient, his own spelling of ok (Okey), his living in total oblivion of his own repulsiveness and so on…. But somehow the strange unrelenting strength on the issue of not revealing his site id was what impressed me the most. He wH

Why do Russians make kickass chess players?

2008-07-05T01:34:00.005+03:00

Somebody forwarded this piece to me recently...

After months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa (in Russia) was granted permission to visit Moscow. He boarded the train and found an empty seat. At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. The scholar looked at the young man and thought:

This fellow doesn't look like a peasant, and if he isn't a peasant he probably comes from this district. If he comes from this district, then he must be Jewish because this is, after all, a Jewish district.

On the other hand, if he is a Jew, where could he be going? I'm the only Jew in our district who has permission to travel to Moscow.

Ahh? But just outside Moscow there is a little village called Samvet, and Jews don't need special permission to go there. But why would he be going to Samvet?

He's probably going to visit one of the Jewish families there, but how many Jewish families are there in Samvet? Only two - the Bernsteins and the Steinbergs. The Bernsteins are a terrible family, and a nice looking fellow like him must be visiting the Steinbergs. But why is he going?

The Steinbergs have only daughters, so maybe he's their son-in-law. But if he is, then which daughter did he marry? They say that Sarah married a nice lawyer from Budapest, and Esther married a businessman from Zhitomer, so it must be Sarah's husband. Which means that his name is Alexander Cohen, if I'm not mistaken. But if he comes from Budapest, with all the anti-Semitism they have there, he must have changed his name.

What's the Hungarian equivalent of Cohen? Kovacs. But if they allowed him to change his name, he must have some special status. What could it be? A doctorate from the University.

At this point the scholar turns to the young man and says, "How do you do, Dr. Kovacs?"

"Very well, thank you, sir." answered the startled passenger. But how is it that you know my name?"

"Oh," replied the Talmudist, "it was obvious."

Nostalgia one more time!!

2008-07-05T00:47:00.005+03:00

Recently I came across this -
http://www.worldschoolphotographs.com

It’s truly something... More than 90% schools in India are covered and not only the city schools at that. Yes many villages are covered too...... I dont know how those guys did it!!! Of course, Africa is not covered in such detail but apart from that the site claims to have covered all other continents. Isnt it something?

You can try and see if yours is there.

"Girly" still evades me...

2008-07-03T14:30:00.007+03:00

I guess i cant blame the poor guy (the colleague in my last post)

However 32% is not bad at all..... Given the fact that all the men, i have been friends with, think

"Me being a female" = "Slip at God's part"

You Are 32% Girly

You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit.
Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way.

To be or not to be?

2008-07-02T22:26:00.007+03:00

While waiting for one of colleagues to finish his work, so that i could get a lift till home.

His boss to him - "Ok, you can try this analysis by using different variables. But pleeeeeeez dont choose the variables like girls"[Whatever that meant...by the tone i was pretty sure it didn't mean to flatter girls]

Me - "I am standing right here, guys!"

The colleague - "Oh come on. You are not a girl."

I wasnt sure who was more deserving of my killing stare!!

Amusement Calling # 1037+1

2008-07-02T15:36:00.009+03:00

My life is full of destiny's idea of humour manifested in many unexpected events. After no contact for almost 4-5 months, the very next day after i post about PHO, I happen to get an online message from him today.

When I read his name in the chat window saying hi, I was sure he must have read the post about himself and had decided to confront me about the same. Getting messaged again by him, on the next day of a post on him, was too much of a coincidence. I was just getting geared up for his possible questions when he took me completely by surprise, by saying something even more unexpected. He said he got a chat add request from me today. Also asked if it was a mistake.

I seriously think I sleepchat. How else can you explain this??

Anyway he asked me about my well being & my marital status. I didnt know what to say. While I was scratching my head for an appropriate answer (Wasnt sure what are you supposed to do in such situations. Wasnt sure if I should answer what he asked OR ask him the same cos that what the social etiquette demands OR just tell him that my marital status is none of his business), Destiny decided its time to wrap up this joke.....and PHO went offline. .

Am I Destiny's Step Child?