Monday, July 18, 2011

Peace in a break... OR Break into pieces?

So how do you know if you have all that it takes to be a companion to someone? I mean not for someone in particular but in general. What if you realise that you are a misfit for the concept? Do you embrace the realisation or fight it?

What if you think you are a decent human being and have many friends to endorse it but no one really special to call your own? What if you are open to accepting people for who they are and let life take its course but others you meet in this context aren't? Will you still keep going single handedly to make it work or let it go on the premise that if it was meant to be, then it would have started kicking?
How long can you keep telling yourself that the its not time yet, and when the time comes you will indeed meet that one person meant for you? What if all this is a farce and there is no such thing as "one meant for you" ?

What if you find yourself toying with the idea of putting a stop to this companion quest and just let it be? Should this bring peace or scare you even more?

What if you think you have found the things you are looking for in principle like compassion, intelligence, being grounded yet fail to find that spark? Would you settle for that or would you not?
What if you find all that and the spark but the other person is not on the same page? Would you then try to make your point of why you think its worth exploring, or just let it go on the pretext that if the other person cant really see why it would be a great fit, is it really ever going to be great fit after all?

So I have moved countries - from Egypt to UK. And by the virtue of the fact that I am now here where there are loads of my fellow countrymen, the pressure of finding someone has started to take its toll on me. I guess I was better off in Egypt , at least I didn't expect anything on this front all this while that I was there - something like being in Civil Engg, when you see all other batch mates from other disciplines of Engg sweating it out for interviews etc but you are at peace knowing no company comes to your college for recruiting civil enggs

I think I need a break - but then again, how do you take a break from yourself?