Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Why,you ask? Why not, i say....

After reading the comments of my readers on the last post, I realized maybe I wasn’t clear in expressing what I am angry about. So taking one more shot at it ..especially for you "my friend" :)

But before I do, lets see if we have the facts right, shall we?

A rabbit .A mouse. A playground. Rabbit approaches mouse, extends its hand for a hand shake, mouse accepts. Walk together for quite some time. As natural progression would have it, the path they tread on, leads to a room. Mouse, hesitant at first, finally overcomes its apprehensions (basically stemming from the realization of the differences between itself and the rabbit) and enters the room with the rabbit along its side.

Next step in the natural progression? Closing the door of the room so they have each others full attention! Mouse checks with rabbit , rabbit oks that.

Seasons change. Onset of winter. So next step of progression? Turning the heat up in the room. After waiting for the rabbit to take the prerogative this time, mouse finally inquires about the rabbits stance on the same. Rabbit begins to choke. Mouse sees its discomfort and offers to let the rooms temperature as is.

But to deal with the choking, rabbit needs the closed doors to open. Mouse goes ahead and opens the door. Rabbit steps out and so does the mouse. Mouse offers to have the final hand shake. Rabbit refuses. Says its not the only way. Says they should move on parallel paths overlooking each other along their respective journeys. Mouse says no, tries to make a clean cut and begins the silence … only to feel guilty that this might not be fair to the rabbit, and finally gives in to the suggested way of the rabbit.

So they wave and pass a smile to each other, every now and then, from their parallel paths. So far so good.

The rabbit starts extending its hand to other creatures along its way. The playground insists on notifying the mouse by default…Yes the default mechanism which was devised originally by the playground to keep all these creatures updated about each other hence closer in some sense. So you see, it’s neither the mouse nor the rabbit! The rabbit isn’t bragging about this to the mouse and the mouse isn’t indirectly snooping around or directly asking the rabbit. The mouse has let go.

Nevertheless this gets the mouse thinking. And angry.

Why? For various reasons.

For one the rabbit had used its inability to withstand the heat in the room behind the closed doors as its salvation argument with the mouse. The mouse had given the rabbit the benefit of doubt, thinking that the rabbit really didn’t know what would the simple hand shake lead to when it started the journey; that the rabbit really had no way of being aware of  this inability till the point of actually facing the heat. But NOW?? Now the rabbit knows.

And it is still extending its hand for new handshakes… knowing fully well that this would lead to ..the same natural progression..the room, the closed door and eventually the high mercury levels.

So what does this mean? Lets see...

  1. a. If the rabbit is ok with that natural progression, then this implies that this was NEVER a problem. This only means that the rabbit lied and used this as his defense because it knew that this would pass as believable. The mouse is angry because it doesn’t want to believe that the rabbit was a liar. Its angry because the facts are forcing it to believe so.
  1. b. Now lets say that the rabbit wasn’t lying and truly couldn’t withstand the heat. Think about it… given the fact that its trying to start new journeys being fully aware of its own limitations from a first hand experience……really, what kind of a character does this make the rabbit here? – One which knows that it is starting something which it cant complete, one which leaves the journey mate high and dry halfway through? The mouse knows no other way to see it as but lack of compassion. And the mouse is angry ….  Angry because compassion was one of the prime defining traits for the rabbit it knew, it was one of the reasons the mouse agreed to walk together with the rabbit  and eventually entered the room. The mouse is angry because it doesn’t want to believe this either while the facts insist on continuing their dirty dancing
  1. c. Now lets say that the rabbit was neither lying then nor doing anything wrong now because its inability was genuine then and now it has finally overcome it somehow. But really, is that possible? Isnt it easier to motivate yourself for conquering your inabilities when you have the reward right in front of your eyes? In the context of the rabbit, why now? Why not when it was in the room with the mouse?  The mouse is angry because it doesn’t have answers to these whys.

Now lets sweep this whole intolerance towards heat issue aside to a corner for a while and assume that the second argument, the final stroke to gain an exit pass from the room, the mouse being a mouse and not a rabbit was really the whole deal breaker for the rabbit. Now the mouse had made its peace with the fact that the rabbit probably truly cant cohabit with a non rabbit which happens to be a mouse in this case……inspite of the fact….  that the mouse to this date fails to comprehend why the rabbit didn’t think of this earlier, while extending its hand, while walking together, and more importantly while entering the room? No the mouse is not angry about all that now.  So then whats it angry about now, you ask?

Well those creatures that the rabbit is extending its hand towards now are non rabbits too. And the fact that they are different isn’t holding the rabbit back from proactively seeking an association with them.

  1. a. So again, this makes the mouse wonder if this (being a non rabbit) EVER was a problem or was just cited to facilitate an easy exit, when the above argument (inability to tolerate heat) didn’t work? If this is the case the mouse is angry to have been lied to… again…

  2. b. The other possibility is that this IS infact a criterion and the rabbit was not lying in the first place. (Whatever said in b above can be easily quoted here as well) … Aware of limitations yet raising false hopes in other creatures only to enjoy some gametime & fun with them? The mouse is angry because it has to press the buzzer for “shamelss lack of compassion”... again!

  3. c. The third possibility – Again on similar lines of c above… lets say “you- a-non-rabbit” was a genuine concern so no lying on the part of the rabbit then, and somehow it has ceased to be a concern, so no lack of compassion in trying to reach out to non rabbits now. Again the anger for the mouse stems from the timing of the rabbit to decide this. Why now? Why not when it was with the mouse (assuming that the rabbit has really erased this criterion)

And ... the mouse is angry because it doesn’t want to choose between the possibility of the rabbit being a liar or a compassionless dead soul.

Yes the mouse believes in accepting the creatures it calls its friends as they are, with their strengths and flaws alike. But there are some things which cant cross the line at any cost. Coincidentally, both honesty & compassion belong to that list of things.

When the mouse decided to break its silence and agreed to appear once again in the visibility range of the rabbit , the prime reason behind it all, was the belief in goodness. The belief that no creature can deliberately harm someone’s else interest … …and if the interests do somehow get harmed in the journey, it only happens without design, without the other really meaning to do so. So the mouse thought that shutting the rabbit out, completely, probably wasn’t fair...more so when the rabbit had made it explicitly clear that it didnt wish to be shut out.The mouse didn’t wish to think about its own self only so it gave in to the rabbits wish of letting the bridges be!

The mouse is angry because this whole thing shakes its basic philosophy of faith on which the mouse thrived on till now…

Maybe all of this is just a classic case of paralysis by analysis…. The mouse is angry because it has lost all its ability to see things clearly!!

P.S.- This is, in no way, an effort towards negating the other good qualities that define the rabbit. This is solely an expression of the anger felt by the mouse on its own perception of presence of certain other qualities viz Honesty & Compassion.

13 comments:

I Walk Alone!!! said...

You know girl I am really happy for few things:
• You considered me a friend 
• You took the effort to re-write the whole story again for me in the most precise and coherent manner you could, although it was not at all expected.
• I liked the way mouse thinks. There is anger but there is no bias in its thinking. And believe me that is really wonderful to see.
• No matter how the story ended, the mouse still has a lot of respect for everything about the rabbit other than honesty and compassion (which is what the mouse doubts). Something I have really seldom seen in many such stories. Hats off to the mouse!!! Mouse really deserves a lot more respect than what it has received until now.

And last but not the least what really makes me happy is a “lot of whys” has really made my friend wiser that she was before…. Now it’s just a matter of learning from what has gone wrong rather than digging deep and keep hunting of why it went wrong…

I knew exactly what you were saying in the previous posts as well, but probably I could not put across my answers really quite well. Or probably, the mouse really was not ready to accept some answers which it has found on its own as well. I need to apologize as well as some of my replies in the previous posts were a little prejudiced. But this posts makes things a lot more clear.

All I can say is you need time… Time will give you some answers… (there is quote that I always carry on my blog which probably signifies what I am trying to convey… “That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along. ~Madeleine L'Engle”)

But before time does its part, you have to do what’s expected from you as well… I know certain things and actions cannot be undone but a corrective measure is all what we can take…
BREAK ALL THE BRIDGES – be compassionate while doing so but not stupid enough to not see the realities.
BURN YOURSELF IN ANGER – but not long enough that you loose the real you.
NEVER LOOSE RESPECT – for the mouse nor the rabbit. It will only help you understand the answers you are seeking in a much better manner when they come to you suddenly in a flash.

I am sorry but I did not want to say that rabbit was wrong or is wrong… just like you I personally believe in giving everyone all the benefit of doubt possible… coz there are certain answers we can never seek by analyzing situations beyond a certain point… I think there is something that is still not included in your options… the rabbit might be right both in honesty and compassion, but it might be something that probably can never be explained by analysis of many WHYs…

But there is one thing I would like the mouse and the rabbit to realize… “it takes two to tango….”

Sorry if you did not like something I said… what I expressed is based on my beliefs… and everyone else has all the right to thrash my beliefs or accept something else as their beliefs…

Hope you feel much better soon… take care girl… God bless ya!!!

Paradox Philic said...

Appreciate the kind words (the bullet points)

And last but not the least what really makes me happy is a “lot of whys” has really made my friend wiser that she was before…. Now it’s just a matter of learning from what has gone wrong rather than digging deep and keep hunting of why it went wrong…

What (went wrong) I know , Why I don’t… and didn’t u just say that a lot of whys were making me wiser, so then why do you tell me to stop asking it?  (See, there goes one more why … I really must be having a thing for why’s or maybe I just love the way my url is spelt…lol)

I knew exactly what you were saying in the previous posts as well, but probably I could not put across my answers really quite well. Or probably, the mouse really was not ready to accept some answers which it has found on its own as well.
If you think there are some other possibilities that I have thought of , I would seriously like to know. And if you are trying to tell me politely, in not so many words, that the rabbit was just not into the mouse, then I would say I have thought of that possibility too. The thing is entering the room was big (by any standards – the mouse knows this holds for the rabbit as well) so the possibility of rabbit not digging the mouse too much would only further reflect the misleading behaviour of the rabbit (What was the need to enter the room then in the first place?) and the mouse doesn’t think rabbit is that irresponsible.


BREAK ALL THE BRIDGES - Done , BURN YOURSELF IN ANGER - doing
NEVER LOOSE RESPECT - can never do that ..learnt very early in my life that respect is something that I deem the most valuable among all things.

I am sorry but I did not want to say that rabbit was wrong or is wrong…
When did I say rabbit is wrong? I said the mouse is angry cos whichever possibility it goes with, it seems to present things which don’t seem fair to the mouse …that’s all!

just like you I personally believe in giving everyone all the benefit of doubt possible…
Benefit of doubt? Oh trust me, that have been used one time too many in this context. So not anymore…

I think there is something that is still not included in your options… the rabbit might be right both in honesty and compassion, but it might be something that probably can never be explained by analysis of many WHYs…
Right in both honesty & compassion?? How?? Tell me cos I really don’t seem to get that however hard I might try.

But there is one thing I would like the mouse and the rabbit to realize… “it takes two to tango….”
Not sure I get this one. Care to explain?

I Walk Alone!!! said...

I think there is something that is still not included in your options; the rabbit might be right both in honesty and compassion, but it might be something that probably can never be explained by analysis of many WHYs;
Right in both honesty & compassion?? How?? Tell me cos I really don't seem to get that however hard I might try.



-- Firstly I am neither favouring nor against the mouse or the rabbit. Coz I don't know either of them. PERIOD!!

I don't have an answer to your "how" as well. I was suggesting a possibility which probably is sounding just as stupid as I am. But it does happen sometimes. There are actions which can never be explained and expressed. We humans want to believe that everything has to have an answer, and keep digging deep with no respite. Yes the "whys" make us intelligent and well informed but when the "whys" start killing you, its time to call it "time out". That's the reason I said, leave certain answers to time



I am sorry but I did not want to say that rabbit was wrong or is wrong
When did I say rabbit is wrong? I said the mouse is angry cos whichever possibility it goes with, it seems to present things which don't seem fair to the mouse... that's all!

But there is one thing I would like the mouse and the rabbit to realize "it takes two to tango"
Not sure I get this one. Care to explain?


-- Present things are unfair to the mouse. Agreed!!! But when I say it takes two to tango... what I mean is mouse personally is also responsible for some of the unfair treatment it received. Let me put is this way. We all have choices to make in life. Mouse also had some choices to make when it was available. Like moving out of the room and deciding not to walk parallel paths and stop keep checking on each other. I don't want mouse to go back in time and regret any choices it has made, coz that does not serve any purpose nor is that the right thing to do. But I want mouse to understand that it also has to start learning by asking some "whys" for its personal actions as well.

burf said...

the solution was too easy till the last statement of the post though

the solution was - mouse should consider it its own mistake that it expected "presence of certain qualities viz Honesty & Compassion"

Paradox Philic said...

@ I Walk Alone - The mouse did the asking of all the WHYs for its own actions first and then only turned to the rabbits actions. You see, the mouse absolutely abhors the lack of clarity...So whenever it had doubts, it asked questions to avoid all possibility of false assumptions... Sometimes the rabbit obliged and answered, although vaguely...and sometimes it didnt! So at these times when the rabbit embraced silence, the mouse gave the rabbit the benefit of doubt (the belief in goodness theory , rem?) till the point it could... then the rationale prevailed, the mouse pestered the rabbit to come out with the answers....so that none of them should keep treading the path which led nowhere.

P.S. - I really appreciate your getting so involved in this and spending so much time in trying to make ur perspective clear to me. Although i tried painting the picture as well i could, but i am sure some shades would still be missing...as its not really possible to capture the nuances of a sunrise (or for that matter, sunset too!) in the past tense!

Paradox Philic said...

@ Burf - Actually the mouse is confused about this - whether the qualities exist or not in the rabbit!
Cos if they dont, how come the mouse always felt otherwise? And if they do, where did they disappear when they were required the most?

So you see, whichever the scenario, it doesnt make the mouse ecstatic!

I Walk Alone!!! said...

I know the situation is best understood by mouse and the rabbit. I can only try to comprehend the circumstances and offer words which fall in line with my thought process. So I would always miss out the shades of grey, either because they cannot be explained or because I can never understand.

Irrespective of that, all I want to say is that... its high time mouse realised it has other important tasks to perform rather than spend time trying to seek clarity on every issue.

Take care girl. God bless ya!!!

Paradox Philic said...

@ I walk alone - Dont worry..the mouse has mourned this enough and has let go... not only of the rabbit but the issue too! :)

...and burnt all the bridges too... informing the rabbit (it wouldnt have been fair to the rabbit otherwise!)...needless to say, the rabbit didnt see it coming neither did it welcome this move....nevertheless it chose to respect this decision.So like i said...all was not wrong with the rabbit, it did have many other good qualities. Or maybe it was just "Good riddance" for the rabbit, all too simple and given without asking. :)

Whatever... the mouse has left the path....for good!

I Walk Alone!!! said...

I am really happy to know this :). I am sure much better things are waiting for the mouse on the path ahead. Take care.

Paradox Philic said...

@ I walk alone - Thanks for the good wishes :)

burf said...

paradox - i guess you missed my point, probably the dirty hand-writing :P

the mouse committed mistake in the first place. it expected the rabbit to be in a certain way.

everything else followed.

Paradox Philic said...

Burf - Well the mouse perceived the rabbit to be a certain way, NOT expected....
There's a difference you see!

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